Tag Archives: Numbers

Life, By The Numbers

Number one is what ambitious people want to be.

Number two is what you do when you don’t have to pee.

Number three’s a dream for men (if you know what I mean)

And four-point-oh’s the GPA of those who know the dean.

Five star restaurants are nice; Motel 6 is not.

If your girl’s a seven or an eight she’s pretty hot.

Nine’s the biggest number with one digit, that is true.

And ten means that non-Nabokovs think she’s too young to do.

I could do eleven, even twelve and then thirteen

But already the gimmick of the poem’s growing lean

So I will end it with a number that is really fine:

Seventy! (The number that comes after sixty-nine).

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

The Siren

‘Twas a year before numbers
When I sailed the sea
Where I met my first siren,
And my Demise met me.

I was taking first watch
Near the time of four fourty
When she called out my name.
She called “come to me, Morty.”

Her high, lilting song
With my heartstrings was toying.
She lured me to danger.
(It was very annoying).

But I leaped off the deck
Not thinking too clearly
And I swam towards the voice,
Which was starting to cheer me,

And I reached her lagoon
At four forty five
Shocked, but ecstatic
To still be alive.

And that’s when I saw
The voice’s physical guise.
I asked “What is your name?”
And the voice said, “Demise.”

I’ve been in that cave
Since numbers were made,
And Demise and myself
Both faithful have stayed,

But if you see my ship,
The Ocean’s Slumbers,”
Please tell the I’m happy,
And teach them about numbers.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems, To the Reader

Independence Day by the Numbers

33 score and several years ago

1 little nation waved goodbye

2 England, on this day, the

4th day of July.


2day is Independence day!

1 should show one’s pride

4 the patriots who serve our land

2 fight to save our hide.


1 should also consider

2day we should show independence.

2day, try being honest to you

4 you are a person of resplendence! (Whatever that means)


1 man’s deeds can change the world.

1,000,000s of men are sure to.

2 our fighting men and patriots,

1 bad poet here salutes you!


Happy Independence Day!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems