Tag Archives: Portland

The Dream MLK Forgot

She showed a sign and shouted

And got up in our faces

Telling us about how white folks

Are the worst of all the races.

The way her spittle spattered

Was a most impressive sight,

My first and last impression

Of a peaceful Portland night.

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Toto, We’re Not In Texas Anymore

Well the Honky-Tonks in Portland

Are heaven’s gift to me.

They’ll pour you out a microbrew

Called “stop animal cruelty.”

The bartender’s named “Yoga Matt.”

The piano man plays celeste.

Well, no, it’s not quite Texas

But Portland-Tonk’s the best.

They’ll serve you soymilk eggnog

Or an extra strong chai tea.

You can get your whiskey straight

Or LGQBT.

You can dance all night to new classics,

Maybe find yourself a dame.

It might be a guy but you don’t mind

‘Cause they all dress the same.

You needn’t fear a gunfight

‘Cause they’re gun-free zones.

If someone micro-aggresses you

You just tweet it and go home.

So come next Friday evening

You can braid your hair and beard

And come on down to Portland.

They’re non-gender-specific kings of weird!

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