The closest of friends
Were Buttock and Cheek.
One was quite hairy,
The other quite sleek.
Whenever the world
Seemed wrong for a bit
The two came together
And stopped all that shit!
Tag Archives: Puns
OI?
Someone told me
R*pe jokes aren’t funny.
I said, “You’re right, they’re knot.”
The time wasn’t ripe
To leave anyone hanging,
So I used a different * than they thought.
Filed under Poems
Is This Too White, I Wonder ™?
Body and bread,
Sword and sheaf;
Stalk of muscle,
Blade of leaf;
Sweet or sour,
Baked or no;
It rises within us:
Tae Kwon Dough!
Filed under Poems
Low Siento…
Somewhere, there’s a Mexican wizard
Who can’t hear what people say.
I’ve heard he’s a deaf supremacist
And a member of the “Que? Que? Que?”
Filed under Poems
Kindness
I offered a homeless guy a place
To sleep under my roof.
He said to me, “I’m not a ceiling fan.”
Then to himself: “Lol, what a goof!”
Filed under Poems
LGBTQ, Not 10JQKA
I like to play poker with drag queens
‘Cause whenever they draw an ace
You know right away
‘Cause you know what they say:
They struggle to keep a straight face.
Filed under Poems
An Eggxcellent… Oh, Nevermind…
I meant to write a verse that’s funny
Involving Jesus and a bunny.
Alas, the laughter all was cheap
And so I left without a peep.
Filed under Poems
Polar Bear Illiteracy Kills
A polar bear showed up today
Covered in blood, he smiled: “Hey!”
Think of why. What’s that? You can’t, huh?
Maybe it was ’cause I mentioned “Mall Santa…”
This poem was intended for December, but apparently you can’t schedule a post that far in advance. Just don’t read this for 270 days, ok?
Filed under Poems
The Chosen Pun
We’re locked in our houses
Away from the world,
Sanitizing ourselves
As our lives come unfurled.
As we wipe down possessions
The thing I don’t get
Is why “Spring Cleaning” jokes
Aren’t popular yet.
Filed under Poems
The Buck Stops Here
I’ve been working the suicide hotline
For the better part of a year
But when someone says
“I want to jump in front of a car”
I can’t help but say, “Oh deer!”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 