There once was a prince named Stefon
Who met a fantabulous blon
De girl with long hair
And there was love everywhere
And oh god, please rescue me! I’ve made a terrible mistake! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Tag Archives: Relationships
Seriously, His Timing Was Impeccable
There once was a beloved cat
Who thought it appropriate that
In a moment of passion
It would be in fashion
To smother my face with its fat.
Filed under Poems
Betting On A Diamond
You couldn’t love a gambling man,
A pal who plays the odds,
Who shakes the dice and throws a wrench
In the plans of man and Gods.
You said you’d never take a chance
On a poker-faced son
But I’d bet if you took a chance
You’d find me pretty fun.
You used to ace your math exams.
You were the queen of school
But the odds weren’t in your favor
With Jack, the king of cool.
Jack would have told you “yes, of course”
If you asked him to dance
But no-go there! You didn’t dare
To take this simple chance.
So Jack’s bad luck’s my inside straight
So let me take the shot:
If you give me your hand of fate
You may just win a lot.
Filed under Poems
Somewhere In California
My man bought a Tesla
Which would normally be fun
But it came with a purse
And his hair’s now a bun.
I told him I liked him
Because he was manly.
Now he’s leaving me
For his old roommate, Stanley.
Filed under Poems
Midweek Passion
Baby, when I look at you
All sexy Thursday night
I think of how you’d look if you
Would move towards the right
And stand beside the TV screen
All cute. I want to cheer
‘Cause I can watch the game again.
Oh hey, grab me a beer!
She Said Yes!
There once was a poet who asked
“Girlfriend, with marrying me will you be tasked?”
She said “Yes, ‘cause you’re weird
“And have a sexy beard.”
Then in congratulations we basked.
Filed under Poems
Relationship Advice
If you want to impress a woman
Ask “Will you be my girlfrien?”
She’ll say no, because you forgot the “d”.
Then you grin at her
And say “You’ll get the ‘d’ later”
Then you can say “thank you” to me.
True Love, 2022
Upon the sofa down we sat,
Eating ice cream, happy, fat,
Eyes on the TV, wearing no pants:
This is my ideal of romance!
Filed under Poems
*Grunt, Impale Worm On Hook, Lifelong Companion*
Women will talk to their friends
About what their friends would say
If they knew what someone whose not their friend
Said “Hi” instead of “Hey”.
They’ll whisper all about a person’s
Clothes or hair or walk.
Guys don’t have this problem
Because male friends don’t talk.
Dear Ladies, Love Men
My girl made me a sandwich
And left a little note:
“Sandwich in the fridge. I love you!”
That was all she wrote.
That was all I needed
To get me through the day
And made every struggle, small and large,
Seem perfectly okay.
So when your boyfriend, husband,
Or another man declares
“Go make me a sandwich”
It shows you that he cares
Enough about your love to ask
For what he really needs.
If you want true love to grow
That’s how to sow the seeds.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 