I love you
With all my heart,
Like hobos love
A shopping cart,
Like children laugh
When people fart,
When we are near
Or far apart.
Tag Archives: Relationships
My Girl Called This “So Sweet” … Should I Be Worried?
Filed under Poems
The First Zebra Is Born
There was a majestic white horse
Who was, of nature, a force.
She said “It’s alright
“That our kid’s black and white”
But her husband still wants a divorce.
Filed under Poems
For The One
I love how ordinary days
Can set my heart alight.
I love the normal, glorious ways
Your face can glow so bright,
How just to fall asleep with you
Makes my entire week
And how many ways we say “I love you”
With eyes and blushing cheeks.
I’m glad I make you feel safe
When life just isn’t fair.
My heart is yours and much more full
Than my poor head of hair.
Filed under Poems
She Even Reads My Bad Poems ❤️
Once in a while you meet someone nice,
And once a year someone ideal,
But once in a lifetime you might meet a person
Who’s someone entirely real;
Who burps like a hippo and sleeps like a kitten
With hair that demands that you pet it;
They’ll go out of their way to buy baby corn
Though it took them two Safeways to get it.
Sometimes that person is one of a kind,
Someone faithful and honest and true,
And your only job is forgetting to doubt
That their perfect partner is you.
Filed under Poems
Haiku, Because Obviously
At my girlfriend’s house…
Use your imagination
Or don’t… that’s your call
Filed under Poems
At Least I Commit To Finishing Acrostics Though
I is for the intimacy we have yet to share
M is for the the many ways I show you I care
N is for how no one can compare
E is for “except that girl who has the pretty hair.”
V is for how very sorry I will claim to be
E is for that exceptional hair I never will unsee…
R is for I’m really sorry this time. Forgive me?
G is for the gift I’ll buy to say that I’m sorry
E is for how every day you give me another chance.
T is for the tightness you inspire in my pants
T is for your temperance, which totally rhymes with “dance”
I is for how I hope to rekindle our romance
N is for how nuts it is I ogle other girls
G is for “good thing I’m not into hair with sexy curls.”
L is for how light catches her hair as it unfurls…
A is for “Alright, alright! I’ll buy you some new pearls.”
I is for I really wish I were a better dude
D is for “Doggone it, if you weren’t such a prude…”
A is for apologizing for how I am lewd
G is for the golden curls falling upon the nude…
A is for “At least I didn’t finish the previous line.”
I is for the infinite ways you, my dear, are fine.
N is the never being bad again if you’ll remain as mine.
! is the punctuation after you vehemently decline.
Filed under Poems
It’s True Because It’s True Because It’s True…
In the bible it’s very clear
That having sex with one who’s near
To you in blood is something that one doesn’t.
If you’re another brother’s mother
Be wary choosing a significant other
Because sin be cousins causin’ cousins.
Filed under Poems
‘Cause Chicks Love Poetry
When my friends ask me
“Why are you still single?”
I tell them my hobby
Is sitting, staring at my phone, trying to think of a satisfying rhyme for single
So I can finish my poem
That I write on my blog-ingle.
Filed under Poems
Chatting With The “Mirror Selfie” Girls…
Sometimes I look in the mirror
And see myself staring at me,
And when I clean the glass it gets clearer
And I know it’s my face that I see
And I look at myself and think “Wow!
“That’s expected, and not very shocking!”
And that, my dear lady, is what I perceive
And thus space out when you start talking.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 