Tag Archives: Relationships

The Edge of Seventeen

There’s a lake just off the freeway

That I went to with a girl

And we sat beside the water,

Feeding nature to a squirrel.

We made noises with our mouths

And made each other laugh,

Then we got someone to feed us

And we only paid for half.

We saw folks in real pain

Pretend to hurt in different ways

While on a screen and in the guise

Of whatever film’s the craze.

Then I drove backwards up a hill

To drop her off at almost nowhere.

I think about her every time

I see that lake, but never go there.

Such is love and such is life

For one who sees the sun at night,

Who, knowing how they hunger so,

Gladly lets the bedbugs bite.

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Adventures With Lucy

Lucy says “Heyy”

As she walks in the door

With a light in her eyes

And her eyes on the floor.

She’s looking for victims

That she can make smile

For she’s also not had

Such a grin for a while.

Lucy’s confused;

She’s alone in the crowd,

Her world always quiet,

Her mind always loud.

She hasn’t found love

In a box on a shelf

But she’s never been told

To bring joy to herself,

And so she goes hunting

A surrogate soul

And she uses her vigor

To make her prey whole,

To make someone laugh

And to make a face gleam

Like the paint on her visage

She hopes makes her seem.

Some think her a clown;

Some think her a doll.

What she fears is being

Not thought of at all,

To be seen as convenient,

Someone’s future “his.”

She fears being seen as

What she fears she is.

She’s found her next target!

She gives them her charm

With a flower in her hair

And the game on her arm,

One of the next many

Whose lives she will brighten,

Whose fears she’ll erase

And whose burdens she’ll lighten.

Someday she’ll look up

And she’ll see the sun set

And her mind will be calm

And her needs will be met;

She’ll live as she dreams

When she comes to someday.

Until then she’ll walk in

And tell someone, “Heyy.”

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Some say my standards are too low,

I’m selling myself short,

And that the only girls I like

Are the substandard sort.

At first I disagreed with them,

But soon I started to wonder…

No news yet, but I’ve got a date

With my neighbor’s pet snake, Thunder.

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Typical Bird Answer…

A young male eagle was hunting

And swooped down on a dove.

He asked his girl, “What now?”

And his girl squawked, “Eat prey, love.”

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Lucky for Me… I’m a 3!

She was meretricious

And he was five-foot-two

And yet somehow between them

Amorous feelings grew.

He thought she was a goddess

And she thought he was funny.

So go the lives of 4’s and 5’s

When they have boobs or money.

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Something To Look Forward To

Until we meet my bed is made,

My shirts are pressed, my bills are paid,

My car is washed, as is my hair

Because you might be anywhere.

Until we meet I’ll laugh and smile.

I’ll be polite and dress in style.

I’ll tip well and I’ll laugh a lot

And hope that your eye will be caught.

Until we meet I’ll be a saint,

Speak properly and not say “ain’t,”

And when you’ve sworn off other men

Then I can be a dick again!

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My Date Went Okay

I said, “Girl, you are fine.”

She said, “Boy, you’re adequate.”

After that things went alright

And basically, well, that was it.

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Wanna Hang Out?

I said “If”

She said, “Did I tell you about…”

I said “You”

She said “The time I had the doubt…”

I said “Don’t”

“About whether or not…”

I said “Shut”

“This eyeliner makes me hot…”

I said “Up”

“‘Cause I, like, wasn’t totally sure…”

I said “I”

“If this was chic or, like, couture…”

I said “Will”

“So I called my BFF…”

I said “Do”

“And was like, ‘Sup, my broseph…”

I said “What”

“And he was like, ‘Oh girl…”

I said “Epstein”

“That shade of ivory makes me hurl…”

I said “Didn’t.”

She would stop,

Or so I thought;

She kept talking;

I did not.

I hung around;

She tied the knot.

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It’s Not The Size… It’s The Personality

Here’s to all the porcupines

Who smile from behind their spines.

How they reproduce may you-befuddle,

As might how, afterwards, they cuddle.

One thing that I know for certain

Is neither partner ends up hurtin’

Which is more than I can say

For every woman I’ve had. Yay!

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I haven’t been touched like that for a while,

Long enough to forget the taste of a smile,

‘Cause who needs love when you’re in denial anyway?

I couldn’t tell you about my best friend,

Haven’t written letters that I want to send.

What good are people when the world is ending anyway?

Even though I know I lived through the past

I can’t remember when I forgot time last.

Why can’t the years alone go by so fast anyway?

I haven’t been touched like that for a while,

Was living in a life marching single file

‘Cause who needs love when you’re in denial anyway?

Thanks for listening even when it’s tough.

A lot of people need to say this kind of stuff.

Now I feel and I hope that I’ve said enough.


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