Ask any man “Would you marry?”
And the man will most-likely say “Sure.”
He’d wear a gold ring for the rest of his days
To announce his commitment to her.
Ask any girl “Would you marry?”
And she’ll smile and say “Yes” with glee.
“And he’d wear a gold ring for the rest of his days
“To announce his commitment to me!”
Filed under Poems
He’s hiding in a cloud of dust,
Relearning how to never trust.
Her taillights shining in his eyes,
He doesn’t know just how it ended.
Her ears await the next catcall,
In jeans too tight and skin too small,
Praying to what she knows are lies
For the pleasure of being offended.
Both parties borrow from tomorrow
To hide from yesterday’s Pompeii.
They can’t forget about each other
So they settle to forget about today.
He held the door of the gilded cage
And didn’t understand her rage.
He thought he’d shown her chivalry
But she called it the living dead.
Her body language said “I’m cheap.”
She told him she was losing sleep.
He said “I’ll fix this. Hmm, let’s see,”
Then noticed she’d already fled.
They’re hiding from tomorrow’s sorrow
In yesterday’s hip hip hooray.
They hate but obey what they ought
And settle to forget about today.
They’re told by shadows high above
What they must think and say and love
Never asking if or why
Shadows live and love to lie.
They’d rather borrow from tomorrow
To pave the way for yesterday
But within them, on the highest shelves
Are two uncaged, unsullied selves
Whispering in voices clear
So only quiet minds can hear
The truth forbidden by the they:
No one ever lives beyond today.
A poem might be a sonnet,
A haiku, or an acrostic.
You said God made you pretty
And now I’m an agnostic.
Filed under Poems
My neighbor has a rose garden
That he’s tended all his life
Which really makes you wonder:
Just how angry is his wife?
Filed under Poems
In this world of cats and dogs,
Of black and white, of bricks and logs,
It seems it nature’s choice we trust
The things which most resemble us,
Because of nature or our minds,
We oft call “evil” other kinds
Of creatures, colors, or supplies;
To do this I don’t think is wise.
If dogs chase cats or cats scratch dogs,
If we stack bricks or burn some logs
We do these things not out of spite
But merely ’cause it feels right.
So are we, by our nature, wrong
To do as we’ve done all along
Merely since a precious few
Feel malice as these things they do?
Shall we, must we, can we insist
That the building and the chase desist?
Are we all not good human beings
But, one and all, [Insert here]-ist fiends?
I like to think what harm we do
Is in pursuit of what is true,
And if we don’t find verity
We fail with true sincerity.
Impose not evil on the Earth
For no more than being given birth
And if another’s sin you see
Know the sinner is human like you and me.
Perhaps through this we’ll forget war,
We’ll never suffer anymore.
More likely we’ll still scratch and bite
But, mindfully, still smile despite.
Filed under Poems
Sometimes
When I see a beautiful woman
I feel compelled
To approach her,
Take a sip of champagne,
Gargle it loudly for 12.5 seconds
Then just walk away
‘Cause I don’t need all that drama.
I got a letter from a woman:
“I’m not pretty,” she wrote.
I wrote back “That’s okay.
“I once f***ed a goat.”*
Believe it or not
She never wrote back.
It seems my sage wisdom
Got her self-esteem back on track!
*Not a literal goat, you pervert! That’s just what we call my cousin.
Filed under Poems
