Tag Archives: Relationships

Princess Fatigue

Ask any man “Would you marry?”

And the man will most-likely say “Sure.”

He’d wear a gold ring for the rest of his days

To announce his commitment to her.

Ask any girl “Would you marry?”

And she’ll smile and say “Yes” with glee.

“And he’d wear a gold ring for the rest of his days

“To announce his commitment to me!”

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Today

He’s hiding in a cloud of dust,

Relearning how to never trust.

Her taillights shining in his eyes,

He doesn’t know just how it ended.

Her ears await the next catcall,

In jeans too tight and skin too small,

Praying to what she knows are lies

For the pleasure of being offended.

Both parties borrow from tomorrow

To hide from yesterday’s Pompeii.

They can’t forget about each other

So they settle to forget about today.

He held the door of the gilded cage

And didn’t understand her rage.

He thought he’d shown her chivalry

But she called it the living dead.

Her body language said “I’m cheap.”

She told him she was losing sleep.

He said “I’ll fix this. Hmm, let’s see,”

Then noticed she’d already fled.

They’re hiding from tomorrow’s sorrow

In yesterday’s hip hip hooray.

They hate but obey what they ought

And settle to forget about today.

They’re told by shadows high above

What they must think and say and love

Never asking if or why

Shadows live and love to lie.

They’d rather borrow from tomorrow

To pave the way for yesterday

But within them, on the highest shelves

Are two uncaged, unsullied selves

Whispering in voices clear

So only quiet minds can hear

The truth forbidden by the they:

No one ever lives beyond today.

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When Poets Break Up

A poem might be a sonnet,

A haiku, or an acrostic.

You said God made you pretty

And now I’m an agnostic.

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Nothing Says “Please Don’t Hit Me With The Cleaver Again” Like Flowers

My neighbor has a rose garden

That he’s tended all his life

Which really makes you wonder:

Just how angry is his wife?

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On The General Nature Of Material Things

In this world of cats and dogs,

Of black and white, of bricks and logs,

It seems it nature’s choice we trust

The things which most resemble us,

Because of nature or our minds,

We oft call “evil” other kinds

Of creatures, colors, or supplies;

To do this I don’t think is wise.

If dogs chase cats or cats scratch dogs,

If we stack bricks or burn some logs

We do these things not out of spite

But merely ’cause it feels right.

So are we, by our nature, wrong

To do as we’ve done all along

Merely since a precious few

Feel malice as these things they do?

Shall we, must we, can we insist

That the building and the chase desist?

Are we all not good human beings

But, one and all, [Insert here]-ist fiends?

I like to think what harm we do

Is in pursuit of what is true,

And if we don’t find verity

We fail with true sincerity.

Impose not evil on the Earth

For no more than being given birth

And if another’s sin you see

Know the sinner is human like you and me.

Perhaps through this we’ll forget war,

We’ll never suffer anymore.

More likely we’ll still scratch and bite

But, mindfully, still smile despite.

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Bachelor Life

Sometimes

When I see a beautiful woman

I feel compelled

To approach her,

Take a sip of champagne,

Gargle it loudly for 12.5 seconds

Then just walk away

‘Cause I don’t need all that drama.

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Reason #4,231,278 I Love Texas

I got a letter from a woman:

“I’m not pretty,” she wrote.

I wrote back “That’s okay.

“I once f***ed a goat.”*

Believe it or not

She never wrote back.

It seems my sage wisdom

Got her self-esteem back on track!

*Not a literal goat, you pervert! That’s just what we call my cousin.

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