Tag Archives: Sports

Now There’s A Joke!

Golf

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But Not Soccer… I’m Not That Desperate

I kinda hope the NFL

Display the stubborness of men

And they keep sitting for the anthem

Because I figure then

People will start watching hockey

And I can talk about sports again.

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Why I Love Football

This month we will experience

The NFL’s preseason

In which millionaires hit each other

Deapite the lack of any reason,

And we the fans will cheer

To kick our team’s rival’s posterior

Because we can’t play ourselves

Since we’re genetically inferior.

We’ll sit and eat and fart a bit

And somehow manage to sweat.

At the end half of us will sob

While half say “best preseason yet!”

Then we picture our team’s victory

And order larger pants

With the logo of some other team

That actually has a chance.

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Sensi-Ball

I want to see a sport

Where forty normal guys

Cooperate athletically

To share a worthy prize.

No one would hit each other.

No feelings would be hurt.

They’d go home with clean jerseys

And their hands devoid of dirt.

No penalties are needed

For good sportsmanship prevails

And from such competition

Comes a host of happy tales.

Such sports would be refreshing

And a lovely change of pace

But for now I’ll stick with boxing

‘Cause I love some hand-to-face!

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To All The PhDs Enjoying a Sporting Event Today (Or On A Given Future Day, Circumstances Permitting)

I realize this day is special

For a contest will take place

In which genetically superior constituents

Will seek, in scoring, to outpace

Their counterparts in opposition

Within a time allotted,

Thus justifying the fiduciary endowments

With which said constituents are besotted.

I hope that in future contests

Of similar athletic variety

That your subgroup of physically-fit object-movers

May prove worthy of your them-focused piety.

In fact, I would extend my well wishes

That your team may excel in perpetuity

Until their superior members inevitably decay

And we may correct our lost-time incongruity.

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Wanna Play?

I’ve invented a new sport.

Its much like soccer

Except instead of a ball

You carry around

A rich guy on a couch

Who just lies back to enjoy it all.

The couch player

Is very important

Because they direct their team.

I think I’ll name it

Monarchy Ball.

It’s more loved than it would logically seem.

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Modern Sports

Thwunk!

Up goes the ball.

Oooh!

Up goes the excitement.

Aaaah!

Uo goes the hot dog guy into the ambulance.

Click!

Up go the youtube views.

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