Tag Archives: Fate

August 2, 2017 · 4:35 pm

How I’m About To Meet Your Mother… Or Big Chad, The Inmate

As if unprompted, she said

“I am not a chair! Don’t sit on me!”

I’m not inclined to sit on strangers

But now I kind of want to see…

She was like a James Bond villain:

Charismatic, certainly,

And she had a pool of sharks

And talked nonstop to me.

That suited me just fine.

I’ve also got an evil brain,

But I’m the type of bad guy

With bad teeth who gets thrown off a train.

Were I a tiger in a cage

I think I would be filled with rage,

And when the humans gave me food

I’d return it, halfway chewed.

The human doctors would have a hunch

Why I refused to eat my lunch,

And they would come inside my pen,

And I’d enjoy the meat of men.

Were I a tiger, I’d be happy, yet

I’m not a tiger; I’m a vet.