There once was a director of the choir
Who, after 50 years, decided to retire.
His boss gave a speech
Of such momentous reach
That I had no choice but to open fire.
Tag Archives: Limerick
When They Won’t Sing The Last Song Until Dean What’s-His-Face Reiterates For The Fourth Time What An Honor And privilege It Is To Congratulate His Colleague On A Career That Has Been Rewarding In So Many Innumerable Ways, Among Which Are…
Filed under Poems
Limerick vs. LinkedIn
There once was a guy named Bob
Who’d never had a job.
He lived on his own
Died all alone,
Decomposed into an unrecognizable blob.
OR
Writing to share the memory of my beloved colleague and life coach, Robert.
He was a man of unparalleled entrepreneurial vision,
A self-made man and independent thinker
Who lived life on his own terms.
His passing inspires us all to further our ownership,
Reflect on our humility,
And scale our amorphous impacts toward the next incarnation of progress.
Ode To Government Transparency
There once was REDACTED from REDACTED
Who REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED.
On REDACTED he said,
REDACTED in bed”
And REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED
Good Night In Seattle
THE BIRDS AND THE SHEEP PLAYED A GAME
AND AT FIRST, YEAH, THE BIRDS LOOKED LAME
THEN WE WENT TO OT
AND OH GOOD GOLLY GEE
GIVE RESPECT TO OUR SEAHAWKS’ NAME!
Filed under Poems
Helping In The Kitchen
If you make some lemon chiffon
Then add escargot and dijon
Then turn up the mixer
You make an elixir
That makes wife cook all meals from now on.
Filed under Poems
Magic Mike or Fabulous Frank?
There once was a dancer whose thighs
Were of the most momentous size.
Picking up girls was easy
And he never seemed sleazy.
Alas, he was just into guys.
Filed under Poems
Black Friday Deals
There was an unwanted doodad
That everyone figured was bad
But just for today
We can send it your way
For 10% off. Aren’t you glad?
Filed under Poems
But There Is An “I” In “Heavy Sigh”
They say there’s no “I” in team
Which makes me want to scream
‘Cause there’s no “I” in “eye”
Nor in “aye”, “fly”, “guy”, “spy”,
So it’s not as mundane as would seem.
Filed under Poems
Ja?
To my homeys in Mexico:
Without context, how do you know
If it’s Santa’s bellow
Or a rapper’s Hello
When you read the words “Jo jo jo”?
Filed under Poems
Saves Us Several Weeks Of Suffering In January, I Guess
The Rams faced off with the Seahawks
Who forgot how to lace up their Reeboks.
The hawks made four kicks
Betwtixt their four picks
And now they’re not Super Bowl 60 locks.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 