Sum folks dont knead it.
Other folks dew.
Eye’m speaking of coarse
Of voice two text apps. Dew ewe?
Tag Archives: Mistakes
Typoes
I’m a very lucky guy!
I got word from the IRS…
They’re giving me an Audi!
A brand new car? Oh yes!
One Letter Off
I said she smelled flagrant
And her mood got all wrecked.
It didn’t help when I said to her
“Autocorrect.”
Filed under Poems
Wrong Stool
I asked “How do I get taller?”
They said “stand on a stool.”
Now my shoes smell like crap
And I feel like a fool.
Wood Chips
There’s a big pile of wood chips
Outside my apartment
Just three floors down
From my balcony.
Now Autumn leaf piles
Are my fun department,
And all that small timber
Looked just the same to me.
To I climbed three stories
To the roof of my flat
Thinking of stories
I’d soon have to tell.
In hindsight, I was stupid.
I realize that,
But despite the mistake,
My jump went quite well.
I’m writing this poem
From my private suite
At Saint Andrew’s center
For injuries from small boards.
I’m hosting some bloggers
Who seem pretty neat,
And they say they’ll refer me
To the Darwin Awards.
If you ever doubt that life is good,
Jump into a pile of tiny wood.
Filed under Poems
Word Choice
I always thought I was the type of pig
Who built his house of bricks,
But on my online dating profile
I referred to women as “chicks.”
I don’t know how I’ll find true love,
After dropping such a bomb.
I guess the fire that burned my bridge
Started with a match.com
Ambrosia and Nancy
I went out to a party
Last Sunday, on my trip.
While there, I saw a woman,
And my heart, it did a flip.
She looked so darn fancy,
In her heels and her pearls.
Her eyes were bright as starlight,
Her hair fell down in curls.
She smiled at me last Sunday,
From way across the room.
I had to go and meet her.
My passion was in bloom.
“Hello David,” she said
As flashed a perfect smile.
My heart heard songs of lovebirds,
Like it hadn’t for a while.
Turns out her name’s Ambrosia,
And she likes nerdy men,
Poets and musicians.
I was her perfect ten!
She led me to her lodgings,
Where we enjoyed some wine.
I gazed into her perfect eyes,
And she gazed into mine.
That night was full of passion.
Hey, come back here Nancy!
Who cares if she’s your sister?
She just looked so darn fancy.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 