Tag Archives: Words

Ish Matters

Calling someone squeamish

Is more complex than it may seem.

After all, when was the last time

You called someone a squeam?

If someone is Spanish,

Sorta shy-ish, or whatnot

You know exactly what they are

But what’s a squeam?

That’s what I thought!

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How My Mind Works 27 Minutes Before A Deadline…

Certain things sound like

Exactly what they mean

Like soy latte, pumpernickel,

Kitty, spoof, and spleen.

Other words were chosen

Without their meaning in mind

Like crepe, seizure, pumpernickel,

And the “pay me” version of “fine.”

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Words Hurt

I wonder if the guidance counselor

At Hitler’s Alma Mater

Told him to “Just be yourself”

And then regretted it later.

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When You Spend Mauritanian Money To Play A Gregorian Cadence On A Welsh Instrument (And No One Will Play Board Games With You Anymore)

I spent lots of oguiya

To buy a crwths

So I could perform a euouae.

If you think this is nonsense

But I know better…

I’ve read the Scrabble dictionary. Hooray!

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Dear Womxn…

The title’s not a typo

But a movement that began

Because the words “women” and “woman”

Include the words “men” and “man.”

I support those of all genders

Whether pronounceable or not

But there are a few more words

Of which ye womxn haven’t thought:

Mandatory, mandate

Manuscript and mandolin,

Manufacture, mandril,

Manhole, manager, mansion,

Manitoba, manometric,

And we haven’t seen

Manservant, mend, mental, and menstruate,

Manhandle, mangosteen,

Plus Truman, human, lumen,

Mandrake and manipulate,

Manifest, manageable,

Mannerly and mandarinate,

Mandatory, mandragora,

Manchineels and manticore,

Manicure, manifest, manubriums,

And over 1,600 more.

The point that I am making

Is that “man” shows up a lot;

It’s just a common phoneme,

Not a patriarchal plot.

So don’t mention Womxn to me

Or their mantras, manifestos,

Or other such manure.

Now excuse me, I’m making pesto.

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Why Men Pray

When a woman tells you yes

She means it could be so

Unless she’s getting dressed…

Then it definitely means no.

And if a woman tells you no

It is a no, no questions asked

Except when she wants you to be bad

Or do what you have not been tasked.

But the scariest thing you’ll ever

Hear a woman say

Is when she smiles and seems alright

And tells you “I’m OK.”

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It’s Hard To Express Affection Sometimes

My love for you’s beyond that

Which human words can express,

But if I had to make a word

Then… let me think… I guess

It would sound somewhat like

The sound a beaver makes

When it stops chewing tree bark

And moves to eating rakes.

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