Tag Archives: Online Dating

There Is No Hidden Meaning. You’re Welcome.

I met an Indian guy on Tinder,

A philosopher named Deepinder.

I couldn’t understand most of what he said

So he said “Date my brother Shallowinder instead.”

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Thanks, Arbitrary Statistics!

A minute with me

Is an hour in Heaven,

But no woman will know

‘Cause I’m five-foot-eleven.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Plenty of Fish

He stood on the granite cliff

Screaming hoarsely

Over the roaring black ocean.

From one of the shores beyond

An echo returned to him:

“Citygal17498 has blocked you.”

But mostly there was silence.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Maybe It Tasted Good A Few Years Ago?

I want a sandwich

With clams, beets, and garlic

Sprinkled with liver and thyme

Topped with two scoops

Of pistachio ice cream

And the zest of a two-week-old lime

All smeared on a loaf

Of gluten-free flatbread

Served on a hard rubber plate.

You get it when you order

A nice BLT.

I call it “The Internet Date.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Wherein A First-Time Internet Dater Realizes Honesty Is Overrated

I have no ambition,

Motivation, manly vigor.

I have very little money

And just three inches down there.

I wish I were more macho,

Richer, smarter, or just bigger

But your ad said if I’m honest

Then you really couldn’t care.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Lots Of Variety, At Least

I’ve got a great idea

For an online dating site

Wherein critical care patients

Can be Mister or Miss Right.

Those not long for this world

From Tennessee to Guam

Can find a short-term love

At ExpirationDate.com

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Dilemmas Of Modern Romance… Yet Another True Story

As a person young

In age and heart

The search for love is,

In my life, a part.

But amidst all the boasting,

The flirting, the pink

There come candid answers

That force you to think:

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems