Tag Archives: Language

Intro to International Business

To effectively communicate

Online in Japanese

You must memorize 2,000

Unique symbols called Kanjiis

As well as two whole alphabets

One-hundred seven letters each.

These are the fundamentals

And the first things people teach.

To converse online in English

Is an entirely different tale…

Just memorize the following:

“Like,” “Your mom,” and “Epic fail.”

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Guess Which One Is Double-Majoring In Sociology?

I said “I’m learning Spanish

“‘Cause I fear soon it will be vital.”

She said “I’m learning Japanese

“To watch anime without subtitles.”

He said “I’m learning German

“Because I hate punctuation.”

Zhe said “I’m learning Gaelic

“Cause I’m a man who wants to experience menstruation.”

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Dialects

In America we spell “color;”

In the UK it is “colour” with a U.

In America it’s “blue”

InFrance it is “bleu.”

In America it’s “Hell;”

In Middle Earth it is “Moria.”

In America it’s “yay;”

In Catholic it is “Gloooooooooooooo,ooooooooooo,ooooo,oooooo…ria!”

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Bad Language?

Eye halve know aye Dia

Howe thoughs hoo dew knot no

How-to spellin’ English

Kant fig your it out, sew

Threw this Han dee poem

I salve Mai own dill Emma.

Hi expect, inn learning spannish

Their Will bee Noooooo! problema.

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Why The French Make Good High-Rollers

You may look real classy

In your souped-up chassis

And yet prove to be asses

When you read “chassis” as chasses.

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A Missed Onomatopoeia

Whoever invented the word “tickle”

Made a fatal flaw.

They should have called it “squirch,”

‘Cause that’s how it feels to moi.

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Pulling Out The Good…?

When Chinese people

Want to eat on fancy plates

What are those plates called?

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One Letter Off

I said she smelled flagrant

And her mood got all wrecked.

It didn’t help when I said to her

“Autocorrect.”

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The Expendable Letters

The letters Z and X, 

And also Q and C,

Left the alphabet one day

In a flight of misery.
They knew they were superfluous,

That they could not make a sound

Unique and unimitatible

By the other 22 letters around.
And so we started seeing

Other letters filling in.

K and S hung out in a hotel lobby

Until J jekked them in.
The letters had more duties,

And had to get more brainy.

S started having seizures 

Filling in for words like “zany.”
Eventually, they all came back

After things came to a head.

Alas, Q was still useless

And Z wanted to be called “Zed.”
X declared a monopoly

On marking spots on a map.

And poor old C remained

Just the first piece of Crap.

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Miss’ng Someth’ng

Just because you shouldn’t
Doesn’t mean you can’t.
You can write down “shalln’t”
Even though it should be “shan’t.”

You can rob a bakery,
Though prudent be, it wouldn’t,
And if you weren’t successful there
Argue with the cops you couldn’t.

I learned these things and many more,
And whether I should’ve or shouldn’t
You can’t and shan’t and shouldn’t say
I ain’t too good a stud’nt.

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