There comes a time in our epoch
When you face the toughest of fights,
You, insignificant human
Alone with the crusher of lights,
A few hundred pounds of soft tissue
Versus a beast from which no one can hide
But you have one ally to help you:
You can turn off the screen and go outside.
Filed under Poems
What is orange
And six feet tall
And smells like it is dead?
This isn’t a joke.
I’m asking you
Because one is in my bed.
Filed under Poems
I created a monster this weekend.
I call it “Ms. Evil Head.”
It’s like a mirror, but I gaze in it
And see your face instead.
The winter wind,
The soggy snow
Gather amidst
My auburn hair.
The polar ice
Is all I know,
Yet not at home
Do I feel there.
You think I am
Abominable,
Which makes me feel
Out of place,
But I am just
A ginger yeti.
Please put away
Your mace.
Filed under Poems
I hide under your bed,
And I listen to you sleep.
I’m a hairy, hungry monster,
And a very scary creep.
I slide from under the mattress
And I long to hear your screams,
But as I lean over your face
My pants year at the seams.
Well I cover up my booty
And composure I regain.
Then I step on a Lego
And my mind goes numb from pain.
I stumble back and bite my tongue
And try to silent be.
Then your eyes flap open
And you take a look at me.
It seems bizarre to you,
So you think it’s a nightmare.
So you fall asleep, and I silently scream:
“This monster’s life ain’t fair.”
So I slink back to the ground
And crawl back beneath your bed.
Tomorrow I’ll do better.
Tomorrow you’ll be dead….
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 