A mother’s like a brother
If a brother were a mom.
There’s no other to smother;
You’re her one and only “da bomb.”
She’s comfy and inviting
And onto her you do glom.
My mother made me write this
And I wish her much aplomb!
Tag Archives: Mothers
Without My Mom You’d Still Be Pretending To Like Robert Frost
Today we thank our mothers,
The reason we’re alive,
The commuter jets of fetuses
That ensured to life we’d arrive.
And after our delivery
Their labors didn’t stop;
Our every cry reminded them
Of a long-ago hop-on-Pop.
They spent many sleepless hours
Changing diapers, wiping tears,
Just for us to becomes teenagers
All full of angst and sneers.
But two moms we thank today
Whose children are divine.
One is the virgin Mary
And the other mom is mine.
Filed under Poems
Best Mom in History
This day, 60 years ago
My dearest Mom was born,
Her infant eyes already wise,
Her heart devoid of scorn.
She gazed upon the world
And I know just what she thinkt:
“I hope these fantastic dinosaurs
Will never go extinct.”
16 years later was her first job
Bottling wine and building pyramids.
She’s had a lot of jobs since then
(You might say she’s had myriads).
A smaller number of years ago,
(Precisely 23),
My mother gave birth to the warmup kid
Who she had three years before me.
And when I was born, her lengthy life
Was instantly fulfilled.
I love you ma, and T-Rex agrees,
Even though by a meteor he was killed.
Filed under Poems
Your Mom
“I’d like to give a fuck,” he said
As he looked me in the eye,
“But I’m afraid I used my last one up
On your mother the other night.”
And so I asked the fellow,
“Why does it make you proud
To look me in my eye right here
And announce unto the crowd
That you expended a limited sex drive,
and, if I might ask, why in Hades
Would you be so very proud
To score with middle aged ladies?”
And so he slunk off quietly,
And to those who know folks like him:
Do the world a favor,
Just find the guy and spike him!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 