Tag Archives: Poetry

December 26, 2013 · 10:21 pm

Christmas Dragon

I got a dragon for Christmas,
And where my house used to be
Not a creature is stirring.
No, not even me.

See, it arrived all wrapped up
In gold wrapping paper.
I opened it, unaware
Of the upcoming caper.

Sure enough, once unwrapped
It flew into a rage,
And the dragon broke out
Of its carrying cage.

It blew fire from its nose
And gave off a roar
And it kept doing this
‘Til my house was no more.

Then it rose from the rubble
That it had created
And flew into the sky,
Its destructive urge sated.

So I lay down to sleep
Near a burnt fallen log,
And dream of next Christmas
When I’ll ask for a dog.

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December 9, 2013 · 8:41 pm

Belles and Whistles

Bart had greased the lightning,
And he’d tested all the wires
By the light of midnight oil,
And his own creative fires.

And as the howling wind chimed the bell
at three thirteen A.M.
He flipped to “on” the on switch,
And prepared to meet his gem.

At first, nothing happened,
Then arose a soft whirr.
It sat up, and he whistled
Enraptured by her.

But in both of their hearts
There lingered one mystery:
Could biology and robotics
Develop lasting chemistry?

The creator stepped forward
With his eyes fixed upon
His creation and said
“My name’s Bart. Your name’s Dawn.”

The lovebot responded
to Bart’s great surprise.
She looked up, with an LED
Light in her eyes.

And after she spoke,
Her uniqueness shone through.
She said “One zero zero
one zero one two.”

“You’ve broken the binary!”
Said the excited Bart,
And he embraced Dawn,
Who had stolen his heart.

The two of them got married,
Neither had any reservations.
They had all the bells and whistles,
But not a lot of converations.

And at night, Bart would fall asleep,
After powering off his Dawn,
And every night he dreamed
Of that first night he turned her on.

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November 27, 2013 · 11:07 pm

A Thanksgiving Poem (Naughty)

This Thanksgiving we’re giving
A meet and greet dinner,
Where new friends and old
Come to get much un-thinner.

Some guests shamble in,
Having fasted for hours,
Bearing pot-lucky food
And some freshly bought flowers.

A few hours later
We’ve chatted our chat,
So the guests head for home,
And all that is that.

Thanksgiving was given,
And food has been eaten,
And old friends and new
Have farewelled and been greeten.

What more could I want?
I am so truly blessed.
Ooh looky, half off
That new Gucci vest!

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November 27, 2013 · 10:52 pm

A Thanksgiving Poem (Nice)

I stubbed my toe
And broke my nail.
I tried a new sport
And I epically failed.
I hit on a girl
And was soundly rejected.
My movie was grainy,
And was poorly projected.

My stomach’s upset
From that beanie burrito,
And I’m scratching a bite
From an angry mosquito.
I’m too sickly to go
For a night on the town,
And to top it all off,
My house just burned down!

But in all of this anguish
I feel pretty neat,
‘Cause there are sports I can play
With my two healthy feet.
I speak freely to women
And also with men,
And I can watch the same movie
Again and again.

There’s so much food to eat
Even bugs get their fill,
And maybe I’ll build
My new house on a hill.
My life was disturbed
By these happenings fateful,
But life’s what you choose,
And I choose to be grateful.

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November 25, 2013 · 1:49 pm

First Love Lasts Forever

I still remember the first girl I loved,
Though I will not say her name.
I was her seventh-grade knight in cargo pants.
She was my white-bloused seventh grade dame.

Today we’re friends, if only online,
But we seldom text or chat.
We write a note when birthdays come,
But rarely more than that.

Despite the distance and nonchalance
She’ll always have a place
In this man’d heart, and in my mind
I’ll always know her face.

The first love we know never goes away,
Invulnerable to time.
So make sure your kid in seventh grade
Never falls in love with a mime.

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November 17, 2013 · 4:28 pm

Love on the Range

I once met a cowboy
Who went ba the name o’ Jed.
Had a cactus for a pilla,
And the prairie was ‘is bed.
He done met a lass he fancied,
Who went ba the name o’ Mary,
But he lost interest when
He couldn’t get her into prairie.

I wanted a home
where the buffalo roam,
And to wake at the rise of the sun.
Well I got like I wanted,
But my thoughts still are haunted
By my daddy waving ” Good Bison.”

There once was a matchmaker
Who lived in Dixie land.
Whenever folks got married,
In it, she had a hand.
Well you should hear what she said
When her own love did end:
“Good sir, you want to ride this horse,
But this horse just wants to be friends.”

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November 16, 2013 · 11:39 pm

Bacon

When life knocks you down
And no relief do you see,

When the joy you invite
Doesn’t RSVP,

When you’re proverbially fishing
But only catch kelps,

Just think about bacon.
I hope that this helps.

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November 13, 2013 · 5:16 pm

How to heigh-Ho (A Derry-O)

I was born and raised a farmer,
And I know my job quite well,
But I’ve got some competition
From the farmer in the dell.

So I’ve got to take a gander at
What he’s got that I’m lacking.
He just heigh-hoed his derry-o,
So on that I should get cracking.

So how does one go about
The process of heigh-hoing?
I know some dwarves (Crap, I mean “little people!”) who do it
When off to work they’re going.

So if you’ve got ideas,
Please write and let me know.
You’ll help this needy farmer,
And you’ll help his derry-o.

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October 11, 2013 · 10:59 am

Baby Rock

A fumpquadrillion years ago

There was a baby rock.

He was tiny, like a pebble,

And musical, like Bach.

The baby stone would sing and moan

Some songs, both longs and shorts.

His first record went multi-platinum,

Not bad for a teenage quartz.

As he aged, his music differed,

In its lyrics, its style, its tone.

This June you might just see him on

The cover of Rolling Stone.

Baby Rock was an instant success.

He’s got some considerable clout,

And he just wanted me to remind you

To stay tough and to baby rock out.

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October 6, 2013 · 9:52 pm

Mustang (For my Sister)

Mustang

She grew up in sixty days,
Perfected by a sergeant’s love.
Her weakness died in August’s blaze
And a flawless warrior soared above.

She dressed in tan as she ran by,
In green when she was done.
She marched in blue under cloudy sky,
Embraced me ‘neath the sun.

The days that followed all were bliss,
That faded with each other.
At night we parted with a kiss
Between sister and brother.

I’d just four days to see the change
Before again we had to part.
Our eyes cannot see past the range,
But range means nothing to the heart.

So I saluted one time more
And walked away to catch my flight.
I smiled, walking past the door,
But on the plane I cried all night.

And thus my mustang flew away,
Unbridled by her childhood fear,
And so I wait until the day
My airman once again is near.

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