Tag Archives: Dwarves

History Is Written By The Famous

Sleepy, Happy, Dopey, Sneezy

Bashful, Grumpy, and Dock

Mined all day to earn their pay

From 8:00 to 5:00 o’clock.

With seven salaries they paid

The rent for one small shack

And thought this was the status quo

Because the dwarves were black.

Then this white chick comes along

And they’re all like “Hi ho!”

Then she’s like, “OMG you guys,

“My name’s like totally Snow.”

And so she took their home away

And even ate their fruit

Before she slept for free a while

‘Cause hey, the chick was cute!

She slept upon the eighth dwarf’s bed

Who never was alerted.

So says the spurned, forgotten dwarf

Whose name is Introverted.

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He’s Not Bashful About It

Let me tell the tale

Of the dwarf defined as Doc.

He was a man with paultry poultry

(Which is to say a tiny cock).

He’d be off to work each morning

With a high-ho and a pick

And he’d strike at stones much harder

Than his diminutive dwarven dick.

A princess came to stay with him

Despite her inhibitions.

Three days later she ate poison

Rather than stay in such conditions.

His beard is limp. His head is bald.

His eyes are beige and lumpy.

Since I’ve run out of insults

I’ll end the poem here. Love, Grumpy.

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How to heigh-Ho (A Derry-O)

I was born and raised a farmer,
And I know my job quite well,
But I’ve got some competition
From the farmer in the dell.

So I’ve got to take a gander at
What he’s got that I’m lacking.
He just heigh-hoed his derry-o,
So on that I should get cracking.

So how does one go about
The process of heigh-hoing?
I know some dwarves (Crap, I mean “little people!”) who do it
When off to work they’re going.

So if you’ve got ideas,
Please write and let me know.
You’ll help this needy farmer,
And you’ll help his derry-o.

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Filed under Poems, To the Reader