Her eyes are blue and cloudless
Like the first bright day of Spring,
Crinkled in the corners
As she laughs and starts to sing.
“I want to kill your baby,”
She gently coos to me.
“I want to eat an infant’s flesh
“With a cup of earl grey tea.”
And I look into her gentle face
As placid as a dream
And suddenly I don’t mind as much
When heavy metal singers scream.
Heavy metal music
Could really benefit
If the makers would include
More harmonicas in it,
‘Cause in between the screaming,
Angry lyrics, and casual sin
You might think the bands are scary.
That’s where harmonicas come in!
“I want to thrash your eyes out!”
Screams a man who’s nicknamed “Blight,”
Then the harmonica gently vibrates
As if to say “it’s all alright.”
It would be an innovation
To the predominant metal sound,
And you’d find cheerier venues
With more harmonicas around.
The Daily Travesty