Tag Archives: Wimpy

We Should Have Said “Stay…”

In the beginning the wolves roamed the wild

Just eating the grazers and sometimes a child.

Then some stupid human said “Fluffy! Yoohoo!”

And he started to breed them for me and for you.

The first were domestic and strong, fast and loyal,

A dog for the brave, whether peasant or royal.

They had names like “Fido,” “Apache,” and “Spike,”

And they pooped where they wanted and liked what they like.

But soon came some others, and not for the better:

They came with free handbags and even a sweater.

These dogs were called “Floofums,” “McTwinkle,” and “Cheese,”

And maybe they’ll sit if you nicely ask “Please?”

Soon we’ll have puppies the size of our phones

Who only chew vegan, soy, gluten-free bones,

And when we accept such weak canines as pets

We’ll know just how low our society gets.

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Summertime In Washington State

When in the Summer

Humid, hot,

You’re AC’s working…

Wait, it’s not.

You’re sweating, panting,

Hope has died,

Your thoughts have turned

To homicide…

My days are filled

With thoughts like these.

Can you believe

It’s 78 degrees?

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Beta Hero Speaks His Mind

She stared deeply into his eyes

And, sultry, licked a cube of ice.

“However can I repay you?”

“Well, repayment would be nice?”

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