Tag Archives: Weather

But Oh That Tan…

The heat is getting hot in here

And the sun is really sunny,

Unlike when it rained so hard

It was damp and unfunny.

I like it when it’s hot sometimes

Unlike my colleague, Heather

Who thinks she’s good-looking enough

To talk about the weather.

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Only Washingtonians Will Appreciate The Absurdity

Today it rained in the morning,

From dawn ‘til the sunset was yella’

And I saw the craziest out-of-town guy

Who for some reason had an umbrella!

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Fear Not Weather’s Wonders

One wonders whether weather

Wonders whether weather was

A wandering weather whither

else wandering thither just because.

But whether weather wanders

Hither, thither, or wherever

One’s wandering wonder weathers

Weather’s wonders well forever.

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Is My Bed The Nicest Place On Earth, Or Is It Just Tuesday?

Two feet from where I’m sitting

There’s a mighty gale I hear.

I thought a bird hit my window,

But turns out it was a deer.

At the zoo a fish died (drowning)

And some penguins froze to death.

A politician stopped complaining

And turns out nothing rhymes with “death.”

I watched a Chris Rock movie

And not one person cussed

And in exactly fifteen minutes

I have to leave to catch the bus.

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Summertime In Washington State

When in the Summer

Humid, hot,

You’re AC’s working…

Wait, it’s not.

You’re sweating, panting,

Hope has died,

Your thoughts have turned

To homicide…

My days are filled

With thoughts like these.

Can you believe

It’s 78 degrees?

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Nice Weather For Post-Commute Shenanigans 

The air was warm and friendly,

The sun a gentle golden light,

And the dirt was easily shoveled

Upon the corpse of the guy who passed me on the right.

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For Jimi And Prince: May They Forever Rock (And Roll Over In Their Graves)

Purple rain

Is such a pain.

Purple haze

Will not amaze.

For purple weather

That’s really neat

You need to try out

Purple sleet!

Like solid water

Or saggy snow

Purple Sleet’s

The way to go.

You doubt me? Ask

A friendly pilot:

There’s no sleet like

Sleet that is violet.

When hail’s too hard

And rain’s too gray

Don’t bid the clouds

To go away.

Instead you’ll wish

(Unless you’re dumb)

For slush to fall

That’s colored plum.

Purple Sleet

Will enlarge your meat.

It’s organic and part

Of a breakfast complete.

So when you’re blue

And just can’t cope

And some red to your slush:

Your sleet’s heliotrope!

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Rainy Day Man

Your eyes are like storm clouds. Your hands are like starlight.

Your words are like raindrops on my hot tin roof.

Your body’s a fog obscuring the bar light.

You’re sunny one moment, but the next moment… Poof!

You flood me with passion and soak me with ardor.

I need an umbrella to hold back your love.

When driving with you, seeing the road is much harder.

I need to go buy a new rubber glove.

You’re my sleep in Seattle. You’re my plain in Spain.

You’re cute as a snowflake and big as the sky.

You keep me hydrated amidst stress and strain.

You make me gasp, and say “H2 oh my!”

Rainy day man, you are my silver lining,

And for your cumulus I always am pining.

But once in a while you need to go hide,

‘Cause I’m getting sick of just staying inside.

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Field of Dreams

Today our team faces the Knights

In a thrilling afternoon match.

The Knights are undefeated

And have never missed a catch.

The sky is blue, the grass is green,

The clouds are fluffy white.

The weather report says “chance of rain”

And I’m praying that it’s right.

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Substitute Sky

The blue sky was angry,
Perturbed and upset,
But black stormy clouds
The sky could not get.

They had all been reserved
For another date,
So the sky, though enraged,
Just had to wait.

It made gentle breezes
And bright, sunny beams;
Poor substitutes
For the sky’s mental screams.

Now very impatient,
Worn out and bereft,
All weather was halted
When the sky up and left.

Today it is rainy,
But I beg you, don’t cry:
It’s just the temp work
Of a substitute sky.

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