The heat is getting hot in here
And the sun is really sunny,
Unlike when it rained so hard
It was damp and unfunny.
I like it when it’s hot sometimes
Unlike my colleague, Heather
Who thinks she’s good-looking enough
To talk about the weather.
Tag Archives: Weather
Only Washingtonians Will Appreciate The Absurdity
Today it rained in the morning,
From dawn ‘til the sunset was yella’
And I saw the craziest out-of-town guy
Who for some reason had an umbrella!
Filed under Poems
Fear Not Weather’s Wonders
One wonders whether weather
Wonders whether weather was
A wandering weather whither
else wandering thither just because.
But whether weather wanders
Hither, thither, or wherever
One’s wandering wonder weathers
Weather’s wonders well forever.
Filed under Poems
Is My Bed The Nicest Place On Earth, Or Is It Just Tuesday?
Two feet from where I’m sitting
There’s a mighty gale I hear.
I thought a bird hit my window,
But turns out it was a deer.
At the zoo a fish died (drowning)
And some penguins froze to death.
A politician stopped complaining
And turns out nothing rhymes with “death.”
I watched a Chris Rock movie
And not one person cussed
And in exactly fifteen minutes
I have to leave to catch the bus.
Filed under Poems
Summertime In Washington State
When in the Summer
Humid, hot,
You’re AC’s working…
Wait, it’s not.
You’re sweating, panting,
Hope has died,
Your thoughts have turned
To homicide…
My days are filled
With thoughts like these.
Can you believe
It’s 78 degrees?
Filed under Poems
Nice Weather For Post-Commute Shenanigans
The air was warm and friendly,
The sun a gentle golden light,
And the dirt was easily shoveled
Upon the corpse of the guy who passed me on the right.
Filed under Poems
For Jimi And Prince: May They Forever Rock (And Roll Over In Their Graves)
Purple rain
Is such a pain.
Purple haze
Will not amaze.
For purple weather
That’s really neat
You need to try out
Purple sleet!
Like solid water
Or saggy snow
Purple Sleet’s
The way to go.
You doubt me? Ask
A friendly pilot:
There’s no sleet like
Sleet that is violet.
When hail’s too hard
And rain’s too gray
Don’t bid the clouds
To go away.
Instead you’ll wish
(Unless you’re dumb)
For slush to fall
That’s colored plum.
Purple Sleet
Will enlarge your meat.
It’s organic and part
Of a breakfast complete.
So when you’re blue
And just can’t cope
And some red to your slush:
Your sleet’s heliotrope!
Filed under Poems
Rainy Day Man
Your eyes are like storm clouds. Your hands are like starlight.
Your words are like raindrops on my hot tin roof.
Your body’s a fog obscuring the bar light.
You’re sunny one moment, but the next moment… Poof!
You flood me with passion and soak me with ardor.
I need an umbrella to hold back your love.
When driving with you, seeing the road is much harder.
I need to go buy a new rubber glove.
You’re my sleep in Seattle. You’re my plain in Spain.
You’re cute as a snowflake and big as the sky.
You keep me hydrated amidst stress and strain.
You make me gasp, and say “H2 oh my!”
Rainy day man, you are my silver lining,
And for your cumulus I always am pining.
But once in a while you need to go hide,
‘Cause I’m getting sick of just staying inside.
Filed under Poems
Field of Dreams
Today our team faces the Knights
In a thrilling afternoon match.
The Knights are undefeated
And have never missed a catch.
The sky is blue, the grass is green,
The clouds are fluffy white.
The weather report says “chance of rain”
And I’m praying that it’s right.
Filed under Poems
Substitute Sky
The blue sky was angry,
Perturbed and upset,
But black stormy clouds
The sky could not get.
They had all been reserved
For another date,
So the sky, though enraged,
Just had to wait.
It made gentle breezes
And bright, sunny beams;
Poor substitutes
For the sky’s mental screams.
Now very impatient,
Worn out and bereft,
All weather was halted
When the sky up and left.
Today it is rainy,
But I beg you, don’t cry:
It’s just the temp work
Of a substitute sky.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 