Tag Archives: Baby

Prudent Advice Too Often Overlooked By Those Committing Revisionist-History Infanticide

If you went back in time

To kill Hitler as a baby

You probably should consider

That someone else just maybe

Might go back in time again

This time to kill you

‘Cause you’re a time-traveling baby killer

As far as they knew.

That’s why if you ever

Change history somehow

By traveling to the past

To influence the now

I think it’s important

To leave a detailed letter

Explaining how killing babies

Can make the world better.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Miscommunication, Baby

I cried all night,
I cried all day,
But still these parents
Won’t go away.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems


Sweet little infant, all is fine,

And somewhere in Zambia, the sun still shines.

And I am envious of those Zambian dudes,

For they have the sun, and all I’ve got is you.


So basically baby, do me this favor:

Go to sleep now and save me the labor

Of rocking you, kid.  And don’t cry like that!

I’m seriously considering feeding you to the cat.


In fact, I’ve had it with your crying, you prick!

Let me go to the window and prepare my drop kick.

Oh, hello there darling.  I’m just getting some air.

So good bye now, you baby.  Cry at someone who cares!

1 Comment

Filed under Poems, Songs