There once was a five paragraph essay
That had one compelling thing to say
Then repeated that message
Twice, then thrice for to stressage
That there once was a five paragraph essay.
Tag Archives: English
If You’re Reading This Enthusiastically, You’re Missing The Point
Happy happy happy.
Joy joy joy.
Yippee yippee yippee.
Oh boy oh boy oh boy.
I can’t wait. I’m excited.
I’m overwhelmed with wow.
If you think exclamation marks are dumb
You do not think so now.
Filed under Poems
See Also: Guillotine, Quinoa, Otorhinolaryngologist
Worcestershire and Draught
Were about to get married,
In love for the rest of their life
But the priest looked upset,
And said “I am sorry
“But I can’t pronounce you, husband and wife.”
Filed under Poems
I Promise To Make Other People Swear To Tell The Truth…
Doctors take the Hippocratic oath;
That’s what my teacher said.
On the test I wrote “Hypocritical oath”
But that’s what lawyers take instead.
Filed under Poems
Two Useless English Bits
The top of the list of what shouldn’t exist
But exist they continue to do
Would probably be the letter C
But I think it should be the word “queue”.
Filed under Poems
…Or An Astronaut
I want to be the director
At a news station some day
So when a line of gnus appears
I am the one to say:
“Lights… Camera… Action”
But moreso than the views
I want to say I was the one
Who cued queued gnus news.
Filed under Poems
Your Vocabulary Word Of The Day Is…
Sometimes it can be tough
To deal with all of your stuff,
And so the path that seems easiest
Is to be an eccedentesiast.
Filed under Poems
Funnier If You Read It Wrong (Is That “Read” Like Read or “Read” Like Read Though?)
There once was a bass who played bass
Who wondered “Is it pronounced vase or vase?”
His leader then lead
Him to read what he read
But he wound up wounding his face.
Filed under Poems
That Which Is Not Convoluted May Lack Bewilderment… So Yeah
I’m sporadically baffled, befuddled, and vexed
When traversing a sum of obfuscated text.
Otherwise, sometimes I feel the need
To say in plain english “This is hard to read.”
Filed under Poems
OMG Dad, Why Can’t You Understand Vulture Is A Student Of The World?
Their wonce was amen from Bolder
Hoo new mai dotter end tolled hurr
“Eye a door ewe, Amanda
“‘Cause u un-derstanneduh
“Spelling sin the I of de beholdre.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 