Tag Archives: English

When You Try To Rhyme And It All Goes Wrong

She asked to buy a stove,

A stove she could love.

They asked at what cost?

“The one that costs the most.”

They heard what she said

And watched as she paid.

Then they helped her move

The new stove, her love.

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Why Jocks Get Seize

The public schools of Pittsburgh

Are bad beyond my wildest beliefs;

They teach kids words like “Steelers”

When the proper terms is “Thiefs.”

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Why English Is Hard

How do you pronounce vapid,

Plein air, eschew, or bow?

Then when you factor in typoes

You really never now.

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Divinity Achieved

If I became God

The first thing I’d do

Was teach when to ask “whom”

And when not to use “who.”

Hint: If you would say “her” or “him,” use whom… The word of the lord 😉

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Bad Language?

Eye halve know aye Dia

Howe thoughs hoo dew knot no

How-to spellin’ English

Kant fig your it out, sew

Threw this Han dee poem

I salve Mai own dill Emma.

Hi expect, inn learning spannish

Their Will bee Noooooo! problema.

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Don’t Be An Ass

Whosoever writeth thus

In styles archaic and old

Shall not retain a salary

And, as consequence, is cold

For whosoever writeth

In a manner hard to read

Is but a fool or PhD,

Neither of which fulfills a need.

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Or You Mite Be Letting Siri Type Four Ewe

If you prey at a alter

And like you’re time their,

You watch the news and think

That how the world works isnt fare,

Youve misplaced yor resume

But will happily give you the jist

Than you might bee looking four jobs

Via a web sight like Craigslist.

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