I said my favorites are forget-me-nots
Then I read about botany
And learned about I-shit-you-nots
And now, well, they are notany.
Tag Archives: Bad
My Pledge Fir Self-Improvement (Typo Not Originally Intended, But Also Left Uncorrected For Irony’s Sake)
I’ve done a bit of research
In a casual sort of way
And I noticed quite a pattern
In the things I’ve got to say.
If I write a poem
About my lack of motivation
After weeks of doing lots
It gets a digital standing ovation.
If instead my lazy poems
Come two right in a row
You tell me what “a pair” is
And that it’s something I should grow.
What I’ve concluded from this study
Of a couple offhand posts
Is that all is fine and dandy
With parodies and roasts
But when I’m being honest
With my slothful true demeanor
You fail to appreciate
How the browner grass is greener.
The stanza which precedes this one
May not make sense to you.
I don’t get it either
So I’ll tell you what we’ll do:
Go ahead and “like” this poem.
Go and comment and subscribe.
Share it, tweet it, email it,
And show it’s how you gibe!
Now when you disobey me
And this poem gets zero “likes”
I can get off my high horse
And quit downing Mike and Ikes
And maybe in the future
I’ll come to realize
That writing better mediocrity
Has value in your eyes.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Employment Is Overrated
It’s late
And I’m tired.
That’s what happens
When you get hired.
Filed under Poems
Chicken Couplets (Guest Poem from S-BC”CAG”BPCTWMYB[P])
By Katy:
Chickens are so much maligned,
But if you look I think you’ll find
That if a chicken lays an egg or two,
That’s much more work than me or you.
When you die it’s with a selfish craze,
But a chicken gives back with a ginger glaze!
And so to chickens you should be kind,
For they seem most helpful to my small mind.
Thanks Katy!
Do you think chickens are great and deserve to be recognized positively via the medium of mediocre poetry? Enter the Semi-Bicentennial “Chickens Are Good” Bad Poetry Contest That Won’t Make You Bald (Probably)!
Get the details here:
Filed under Poems
Really Though, How Do You Spell The Last Word?
I looked at all the people
Seated in their chairs.
I told them “I won’t paint the steps”
But I only got blank stares.
Camping Proclamation
When in the course
Of human events
We leave our homes
To live in tents
We write poems on topics
Irrelevant to the season
So if this poem’s turnaround seems abrupt
Probably slavery’s the reason.
Filed under Poems
Fortune and Glory
I wish I had a job
Like Indiana Jones
Where I could make good money
Examining human bones.
But Dr. Jones’s job
Is great in other ways
Like the fact he has no limit
To his paid vacation days.
I’m not an archaeologist
But a poet and musician,
And as I write I realize
I am in a position
To take endless vacation days
Like Dr. Jones would do.
“Travis T. and the Crystal Skull”
Coming soon to theatres near you.
Filed under Poems
The Splatterpainted-Red-Canvas of Poetry, Expressed Through The Mediums of Brownish Colors, [Theoretically] Edible Birds, and Leavened Grain Objects, Vol.13, AKA Sundays
Beige chicken wonder bread!
Boredom flowing through my head.
Tan turkey whole wheat toast!
Today’s a better day than most.
Brown ostriche gluten free!
That’s a day that’s right for me.
Ochre phoenix sourdough!
Now it’s time for me to go.
(Semi-related food for thought: what would happen if you ate a phoenix)?
Filed under Poems
When You Turn Off Aitocorrect
This line is italic.
Thia line is bold.
The bold line has a typi.
So does that ome.
Okay, I’m donr.
Filed under Poems
You Knew It Was Coming By “APF”
A is for anticipation.
P is for participation.
F/I is for filmed in Imax.
A is for an anticlimax.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 