Sometimes dogs are happy.
Sometimes dogs are sad.
You wanted a clever poem?
Well today, that’s just too bad.
Tag Archives: Dumb
An American Traveler
There once was a van-living hoarder
Who crossed the Canadian border.
He lost his way,
So he asked a cop “eh?”
The cop figured all was in order.
And so the directionless dude
Asked locals who were eating food.
They said “bla bla bluh.”
The van-guy asked “huh,”
And found himself viciously booed.
And so the van-guy found his way
Back to Where-He-Was-From, USA.
There’s a moral somewhere,
But you probably don’t care,
And it’s probably better that way.
Filed under Poems
The Acorn
A unicorn has one horn.
A bicorn has two.
A polycorn has many horns
That can stick into you.
So a unicorn with no horn
Is an acorn, I suppose.
If you didn’t believe in magic,
Well, I guess now you knows.
That Was Almost Disastrous
It’s been awhile
Since a poem of mine
Has been forgotten
‘Til 7:09.
What can I say?
It’s been one of those days
How sorry am I?
Let me count the ways.
I guess that I’m sorry
This poem’s half-baked.
OK, I’m done.
My sarcasm is slaked.
Thanks all for reading,
Especially y’all in New York.
I’m going to sleep now.
Yours truly, a dork.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Fortune-Cooker In Training
I crack the fortune cookie
And read read the wisdom within.
“Today, be careful of breaking things.”
Cookie talent must be wearing thin.
The Last Amiable Sheriff
Hi there partner!
I’m Sheriff Steve.
I like riding on my pony
To deter those who thieve.
I only carry a gun
For shooting bottles at the quarry,
But if that makes you nervous
Then I assure you, do not worry.
Because Sheriff Steve has other ways
Of detaining unlawful sorts:
A friendly smile, a stern “now, now,”
And some more witty retorts.
There’s little crime in this town of mine
So I’m doing a good job.
These were the last words of Sheriff Steve
As he greeted Outlaw Bob.
Filed under Poems
A Forward-Thinking Fellow
I raised my chimney nine inches
When I remodeled my home.
It makes the opening hard to reach
For a reindeer, elf, or gnome,
So I installed a dumbwaiter
To help the givers out.
It makes it hard to build a fire,
But I feel like it gives me clout.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 