Tag Archives: Goals

‘Twas the Best Of Times…

I studied some Spanish

And read a good book,

I exercised daily

And learned how to cook,

I got six pack abs

And I learned how to dance.

But I just can’t recall

What it’s like to wear pants…

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What’s A Synonym For Thesaurus?

Within the next 26.07 fortnights

My predominant aspiration

Is to perpetuate the convention

Of heightened lexicon inflation.

Be not perturbed if reading this

Is an arduous endeavor:

Aspirations are ephemeral whilst

Prose-prevarication is forever.


Next year my goal

Is to learn new words

But I’m also lazy

And learning’s for the birds.


Me like words with lotsa letter

But me like to sleep-in better.

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Life Without Makeup

Chapped lips, dry skin,

Hair without a bobby pin,

Baggy pants, hairy pits,

A shirt that hides any sign of tits,

Spotty face, mustache line,

Eau de toilette called “big ass pine,”

A house that others call a sty:

Just another great day of being a guy!

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Half Dozen Of The Other

So many people live like eggs

It’s almost not okay.

Their only goal is, like an egg,

To get laid every day.

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Geographically Limited

I wish I had a pirate ship

To show off to my neighbors,

To terrorize the waterways

And make legends of my labors.

I’d earn the love of ladies fair

And earn the lawmen’s hate.

Yes, I’d be the best damn pirate

In Arizona state.

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A Good Year… So Far

I’ve exercised every day so far!

I’ve been a better lay so far!

I’ve eaten healthy food so far!

I haven’t even been rude so far!

I’ve been cheerful, smart, and nice so far,

And only been driven to kill some jerk who’s not as fit, healthy, sexy, and friendly as me twice…

So far.

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One Poem A Day: How Hard Can It Be?

I’m looking forward

To 2016,

Less so to the time

That comes in between,

For when the New Year

Comes rolling in

You feel able

To do anythin’.

But in 2015,

As it is right now

I’m cranking out poems

And tending electric cows.

And so in two months

I’ll be out of this funk.

For now I’ve got ice cream.

Hope you enjoyed this junk.

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In Loving Memory

Somewhere in my memory

Lies July the seventeenth.

(That’s yesterday, in case you didn’t know’st).

That was the day my mind

Was way off on it’s own.

It was the day that I forgot to post.

So in memorium

Of this flawless two-year goal,

This poet must apologize to you.

But if my memory serves,

Then the poem you may have seen

Would’ve been a pretty bad half-assed haiku.

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That Was Almost Disastrous

It’s been awhile 

Since a poem of mine

Has been forgotten

‘Til 7:09.
What can I say?

It’s been one of those days

How sorry am I?

Let me count the ways.
I guess that I’m sorry

This poem’s half-baked.

OK, I’m done.

My sarcasm is slaked.
Thanks all for reading,

Especially y’all in New York.

I’m going to sleep now.

Yours truly, a dork.

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Nine Million Americans

I won’t lie…

I’m famous

For something really neat.

I posted “first”

On a youtube vid

And now my life’s complete.

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