The pilot said I could not fly
With two corpses. I wanted to fight him
But the rules were clear: I could not bring
More than one carrion item.
Delta is an airline,
Or at least it claims to be.
It will get from A to B
Though via C and D.
Most planes will leave the gate on time
Though few will fly away.
From now on I’ll fly United
Where they acknowledge everything’s not okay.
Helicopters come and go,
Planes take off and land.
Passengers arrive who do not know
That liquids and gels are banned.
Luggage is checked, and backgrounds too.
Personal items are stowed.
Some poor guy who’s flying back
Finds out his car was towed.
Flight attendants welcome you
And give a safety spiel.
A can of juice and pretzel mix
Will be your evening meal.
Now far from home you have arrived
At where planes take off and land,
And you find the luggage that you checked
Did not arrive as planned.
You take a cab to your hotel
Where everything’s in place,
From hygiene stuff in plastic wrap
To art that’s in your face.
You stay a week and do your job
(Or relax. That’s ok too).
And then come home to talk about
That one time when you flew.
I asked a dragon how to fly
And it told me “flap your wings.”
I asked the same of a wizard
And he said “use magic rings.”
The fairies said “just do it,”
While the birds chirped “catch the breezy.”
But I went to the airport
‘Cause that seemed a lot more easy.