She had a headache,
I had lice.
She had a headache
After I bought the mice.
She had a headache
When I was constipated.
Do you think maybe
The two are related?
Tag Archives: Humor
Her Headache
Filed under Poems
Battery Low
The icon is red,
My battery is low.
I don’t know
How long it can go.
But one thing I’m sure of
Is that it will die at the time
Most crucial to me if I am
To set up a final…
Filed under Poems
Experiments
I swallowed a paper airplane,
Although not to I was told.
I don’t think it will be harmful,
But we’ll see how things unfold.
Filed under Poems
A Fast Fast-Food Poem
I asked you once,
I asked you twice,
And now I ask thrice
Do you want frice with that?
Petty Karma
I’ve never murdered anyone,
Nor been charged with any crime.
That’s not to say I’m innocent:
I jaywalk all the time.
I can’t help but wonder
If Karma will punish me.
Maybe I’ll be the victim of a victimless crime?
I guess we’ll just wait and see.
Filed under Poems
Just a Thought
Many a person
has thought themselves straight.
They know better when they die.
Consider all the skeletons
That come out of the closet,
And who has skeletons? You and I.
Filed under Poems
The Grander Slam
When my old buddy Steig
Joined the baseball league
I knew, although fatter,
I was the better batter.
So when he batted number one
And hit a home run
I didn’t give a damn,
And I hit a grand slam.
But Steig, I won’t lie,
He’s a competitive guy.
How can a guy like me save face
When Steig hit a grand slam with no runners on base?
One Day Late
His hands sweated inside his gloves
As the final tumbler fell into place.
He extracted the box and ran,
Relief flooding across his washed out face.
He made it to the getaway,
The rainbow that would take him away from harms,
And he pictured the pot of gold
He’d get for stealing the lucky charms.
Filed under Poems
Once Upon An Elaborate Fiction
As the knight climbed the steps
To the princess’s room
His heart pounded harder
Than you’d be prone to assume.
He flung open the door
And what did he see?
A bored, unwashed princess
Aged 73.
That’s what you get
When you lock up a kid
With no education
In a tower guarded
By an unslayable dragon.
And what did she eat?
Only things that could keep
Like canned veggies and meat.
She had no running water,
No way to catch rain,
No outside contact
To challenge her brain.
So if you’ve got a princess
Don’t lock her away.
Besides, all the good knights
Are taken or gay.
Filed under Poems
On the Correction of Humans
It’s come to my attention
That the world isn’t flawless.
People are ugly, stupid, poor,
Foreign, local, and/or lawless.
To fix this inconvenient fact
I’ve thought up a solution:
Let’s choose some perfect people
And write up a constitution
And bind those other people
Under government and law.
Isn’t it nice that this system
Doesn’t have any flaw?
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Filed under Poems
Tagged as Government, Humor, Poetry, Social Commentary