Were it a time of day
And we a natural feature
It would liken us to feel
A passive emotion.
So ere it be
That words long forgotten
Exfoliate our mutual conditions
To clarify depth and artistry.
Whosoever feels
By and large unfeeling
Throws the mercy upon themselves
To the black asp of memory
And by such consumption
Your consciousness neglects
That this poem is really
A fart joke by a PhD.
Filed under Poems
Tagged as Explanation, Gobbledegook, Humor, Meta, PHD, Poetry, Postaday
It’s tough to write a daily poem
About daily terrible things
When nothing bad happens.
This poem is self-evident.
If I were a toad
I would write fewer poems,
Which makes me think
I should go piss off a witch.
Do you hear it
Whispering?
A quiet voice
Behind you,
An oily voice
That reminds you
“Bad poems get better
“When you click ‘like.'”
A poem brief
Is sweet relief.
A poem long
Is but a song.
A poem medium
Has an inconsistent meter which makes it sound dumb.
“What doesn’t kill you
Makes you stronger”
Is total BS.
What about candy,
Vasectomies,
And gastrointestinal stress?
Watching television
Or putting on your socks
Don’t build the muscles all that well,
Nor does eating with a spoon
Or staring at the sun
Or reading books that teach you how to sell.
So how about
Instead of that stupid saying
We make a stupid saying of our own?
“What doesn’t kill you
Can be made into bad poems
That can be written rather quickly on one’s phone.”
No, you didn’t miss yesterday’s poem. There wasn’t one. Well, OK, there was, but WordPress decided you would enjoy it more if it wasn’t made public. Here’s my sarcastic apology/today’s poem.
Since I made a promise
To write a poem a day
Nothing really has gone wrong,
That is ’til yesterday.
The Internet betrayed me
By publishing locally,
And so my broken promise
Was not the fault of me.
I’m apologizing.
This is the way things go.
Maybe I’ll fix it in the future
With a wall paid for by Mexico?
If I don’t do it in the morning
And don’t do it at lunch
I have to do it at 2:48
While sipping on some punch.
As I write down this plan of mine
It doesn’t seem so bad.
If I write tommorrow at 9:00 PM
I don’t think I’ll be sad.
This is a debauch-
Ery of an old Japan-
Ese poetry style.
Filed under Poems
Tagged as Haiku, Humor, Meta, Poems about Poems, Poetry, Postaday, Rnjambment
The Daily Travesty