I asked you once,
I asked you twice,
And now I ask thrice
Do you want frice with that?
Tag Archives: Poetry
A Fast Fast-Food Poem
Petty Karma
I’ve never murdered anyone,
Nor been charged with any crime.
That’s not to say I’m innocent:
I jaywalk all the time.
I can’t help but wonder
If Karma will punish me.
Maybe I’ll be the victim of a victimless crime?
I guess we’ll just wait and see.
Filed under Poems
Just a Thought
Many a person
has thought themselves straight.
They know better when they die.
Consider all the skeletons
That come out of the closet,
And who has skeletons? You and I.
Filed under Poems
Singing and the Rain
The wind howled,
The full moon scowled,
And the coyote sang alone.
Then the rain sang too,
And the wind chimed in,
And, once again, the full moon shone.
Sometimes when life is black
All you are missing
Is some singing when it’s rainy.
It’s a pity that
This is a just a metaphor,
But the idea is tastefully zany.
Filed under Poems
The Grander Slam
When my old buddy Steig
Joined the baseball league
I knew, although fatter,
I was the better batter.
So when he batted number one
And hit a home run
I didn’t give a damn,
And I hit a grand slam.
But Steig, I won’t lie,
He’s a competitive guy.
How can a guy like me save face
When Steig hit a grand slam with no runners on base?
One Day Late
His hands sweated inside his gloves
As the final tumbler fell into place.
He extracted the box and ran,
Relief flooding across his washed out face.
He made it to the getaway,
The rainbow that would take him away from harms,
And he pictured the pot of gold
He’d get for stealing the lucky charms.
Filed under Poems
The Scofflaw’s Manifesto
There’s a convenient fact about rules
That assumes followers are fools.
They can punish you after the fact,
But they cannot control how you act.
So do whatever you want,
(But misdoings you ought not flaunt)
For the crime that does no harm
Has no place under the law’s long arm.
Filed under Poems
Nothing Here
The inner critic smiled
as I erased another line.
“You won’t write a poem about that!”
I heard the invisible @€#*~}! whine.
So instead I wrote this poem
Inspired by my critic.
Sometimes you have to do that stuff,
Even if you become arthritic.
Filed under Poems
Once Upon An Elaborate Fiction
As the knight climbed the steps
To the princess’s room
His heart pounded harder
Than you’d be prone to assume.
He flung open the door
And what did he see?
A bored, unwashed princess
Aged 73.
That’s what you get
When you lock up a kid
With no education
In a tower guarded
By an unslayable dragon.
And what did she eat?
Only things that could keep
Like canned veggies and meat.
She had no running water,
No way to catch rain,
No outside contact
To challenge her brain.
So if you’ve got a princess
Don’t lock her away.
Besides, all the good knights
Are taken or gay.
Filed under Poems
The End of Winter
Heavy, the scent of roses
Lies upon the veranda
Where I sit, hand in hand,
With my lover, Miranda.
She sweats like an osprey,
And I sweat like a bear.
It’s a good thing for us
Our hormones don’t care.
The sun smiles down
From its cloudless abode.
And two antelope hump
On the side of the road.
A warm, friendly wind
Caresses the trees.
There’s spring in the air.
That’s when I start to sneeze.
Filed under Poems
