Tag Archives: Roses

A Sonnet For When Your Vegan Girlfriend Puts You In The Doghouse

How soft the calling of the rose in bloom;

Its rage not diminished by its small size,

For it has seen a man deliver doom

With not a drop, remorseful, from his eyes.

The rose who screams has seen its brothers fall,

Cleft and tied as trinkets for a hot date.

It cries without lungs, giving it its all,

Petals in bloom, show’ring it foes with hate.

Then red and white and pink and gold align

Together in the vengeful rose’s song,

A harmony unheard by humankind

Until they are a dozen voices strong.

Then weep! The florist ends their final day.

Aren’t you relieved I brought you no bouquet?

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The Last Jedi’s Valentine

A dozen roses can show your love

If flowers are what your love adores

But if you send a Rose Tico

You might accidentally kill Star Wars.

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Red roses for passion.
White roses for peace.
Yellow for friendship
And renewing your lease.

Yet why I am here
Nobody knows,
For what is the meaning
Of a camouflage rose?

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Roses and Violets

Roses are red,

Violets are purple.

If you’re seeking bad poems,

I’ve got a curple.


Roses are red,

Violets are not.

But they share one addiction:

They can’t live without a pot.


Some roses are red,

Some roses are white.

I forget about violets,

But nobody gives a s***.

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