My wife brought home ten pairs of shoes
Because she simply couldn’t choose
Between the heels, the pumps, the flats,
The mules, the boots, the this-and-thats,
The espadrilles, the gladiators,
So bought them all, saying “See you laters”.
I, on the other hand, am a guy
And really have to wonder why
She wants more than a couple pumps
To satisfy her lady lumps…
Filed under Poems
Somebody said: Let’s make a shoe
That doesn’t have to be tied,
That you can wear for a night on the town
Or when on a horse you ride
That’s made from an alligator’s flesh
And comes with loud, stabby heels,
Plus make it the only kind of shoe
For which there are no online deals!
Filed under Poems
I lived a life of luxury.
I thought I had it all
Until I met my true love
At the climactic royal ball.
Her dress had such a shimmer,
Like her slippers made of glass.
Her smile moved a mountain
And OMG dat ass!
We danced ’til past eleven
Before she fled into the night
Leaving my heart in tatters
And a slipper in her flight.
I picked up the glassy remnant
Of the girl who once was mine
And tried it on. Who would’ve guessed
We both wore a lady’s size 9?
Filed under Poems
Clip-clop, clip-clop.
The horse passes by.
Clip-clop, clip-clop.
It has no shoes, but why?
Flip-flop, flip-flop.
Problem solved.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 