There once was a digital horse
Who ran with electrical force.
It’s in my girlfriend’s phone
And now I’m alone
‘Cause she’s busy racing, of course!
Tag Archives: Horses
Some Assembly Required
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Though it was obvious Humpty would die
Still the king said, “Give the horses a try!”
Filed under Poems
Is It The Tail?
Horsey horsey, riding in circles,
Pooping and snorting and chewing on grass.
Horsey horsey, tired of people
Comparing each other to your lovely ass.
Horsey horsey, with shoes made of metal,
Hair on your neck, your face, and your butt.
For some reason women all seem to love you
You’ve something I don’t, but I can’t think of what…
Filed under Poems
The First Zebra Is Born
There was a majestic white horse
Who was, of nature, a force.
She said “It’s alright
“That our kid’s black and white”
But her husband still wants a divorce.
Filed under Poems
Hoof You Been Talkin’ To?
I saw horses running
With humans on their backs.
I said, “Now there’s an animal
“We’ve not made into snacks.
“They’re gorgeous and majestic
“And possess a lightning speed,”
But the one kid eating glue
Silently disagreed.
Filed under Poems
Apocalypse? Not Now!
Apocalypse’s horsemen
Were riding home one night
When the BMW of depression
Passed them on the right.
“I think we’re now outdated,”
Said Famine to his peers
So they let the horses loose
And went out to get some beers.
The horses ran to far off lands
Where they could eternally play,
And some lucky Harley-Davidson salesman
Got four new customers today.
Filed under Poems
The Newest Gender Identity
Under the apple tree
You are you, I am me.
We can hug and kiss all day
And never hear the others say
“Why are you kissing that horse?”
They don’t understand of course
But under the apple tree… well, there
No one ever seems to care.
Filed under Poems
Horse Shoes
Clip-clop, clip-clop.
The horse passes by.
Clip-clop, clip-clop.
It has no shoes, but why?
Flip-flop, flip-flop.
Problem solved.
Filed under Poems
Nailed It!
If you miss a manicure
You may mot feel remorse.
But then, just you imagine
You were riding on a horse.
You granbed the reins and kicked your heels,
But the horse, it gave a buck
‘Cause it knew your nails were bland.
Yeah, that would kinda suck.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Born This Way
You’ve probably seen a zebra,
That pretty, stripy horse,
And you probably know a pinto
And a black stallion of course.
And lots of horses have little marks
That make them look real rad,
But no one loves me, for I’m a horse
Who was born in neon plaid.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 