Tag Archives: Horses

Some Assembly Required

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

Though it was obvious Humpty would die

Still the king said, “Give the horses a try!”

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Is It The Tail?

Horsey horsey, riding in circles,

Pooping and snorting and chewing on grass.

Horsey horsey, tired of people

Comparing each other to your lovely ass.

Horsey horsey, with shoes made of metal,

Hair on your neck, your face, and your butt.

For some reason women all seem to love you

You’ve something I don’t, but I can’t think of what…

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The First Zebra Is Born

There was a majestic white horse

Who was, of nature, a force.

She said “It’s alright

“That our kid’s black and white”

But her husband still wants a divorce.

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Hoof You Been Talkin’ To?

I saw horses running

With humans on their backs.

I said, “Now there’s an animal

“We’ve not made into snacks.

“They’re gorgeous and majestic

“And possess a lightning speed,”

But the one kid eating glue

Silently disagreed.

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Apocalypse? Not Now!

Apocalypse’s horsemen

Were riding home one night

When the BMW of depression

Passed them on the right.

“I think we’re now outdated,”

Said Famine to his peers

So they let the horses loose

And went out to get some beers.

The horses ran to far off lands

Where they could eternally play,

And some lucky Harley-Davidson salesman

Got four new customers today.

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The Newest Gender Identity

Under the apple tree

You are you, I am me.

We can hug and kiss all day

And never hear the others say

“Why are you kissing that horse?”

They don’t understand of course

But under the apple tree… well, there

No one ever seems to care.

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Horse Shoes

Clip-clop, clip-clop.

The horse passes by.

Clip-clop, clip-clop.

It has no shoes, but why?

Flip-flop, flip-flop.

Problem solved.

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Nailed It!

If you miss a manicure

You may mot feel remorse.

But then, just you imagine

You were riding on a horse.

You granbed the reins and kicked your heels,

But the horse, it gave a buck

‘Cause it knew your nails were bland.

Yeah, that would kinda suck.

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Born This Way

You’ve probably seen a zebra,
That pretty, stripy horse,
And you probably know a pinto
And a black stallion of course.

And lots of horses have little marks
That make them look real rad,
But no one loves me, for I’m a horse
Who was born in neon plaid.

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