Have you heard the tale of Charles the Bolde,
Who sought to slay the dragon of olde?
He stood his ground, refused to run.
Too bad for him the dragon won.
Category Archives: Poems
A Forgotten Epic
Death to All Insects
Ugh! A bug!
I gave it a hug
From my heavy-duty, carbon-fiber swatter.
Another is spied,
And I can’t conceal my pride
‘Cause my darling saw the second bug and shot ‘er.
Filed under Poems
What I Did Last Night/This Morning
It started and ended with a clock.
The middle was cliches
And plenty of explosions and CGI
And other brash displays.
And in the end some villains died
And some good guys too.
That is my summary of
The Amazing Spider Man 2.
Filed under Poems
The First Family: An Earlobe Story
It started as an earlobe,
Lonely and aware
That it would be much more complete
If it could make a pair,
And so it looked and listened
And so grew its ears and eyes,
And it found a brain, a face, and hair
That to its side it did bind.
And soon the first lobe found a second
And a head the two became.
They thought they’d met their goals,
Yet they still felt kind of lame,
And so the head sought out a body,
And the body sought out limbs
And soon the lobes could walk around,
And searched the world for hims.
Sure enough they found him:
Another lobe-turned-body,
And the lobe pair fell in love
‘Cause the he-lobe was a hotty.
And the bodies mixed and matched
And made a smaller version
Of themselves, and out it pushed,
Desiring an excursion.
And so was born a child
And the lobe became a mother.
The first kid was a sister
And the second was a brother.
And that is how a family
In my mind has been portrayed.
I love you mom, but seriously,
How was I really made?
Filed under Poems
The Quest of the Sleepy
I slept too little
All through the week,
And a healthy 10 hours
Of sleep did I seek,
But I stayed up until midnight
And the sun rose at eight.
Someday I’ll get my 10 hours,
But for now it must wait.
Filed under Poems
Jungle Moments
Crouching leopard lies in wait.
As the antelope walks by
He flexes his feline muscles
And from his roost does fly.
Alas, he missed the antelope,
An error sufficiently hideous,
And his face hit a tree.
Antelope pinned him for three.
It was submitted to Botswana’s Funniest Videous.
Filed under Poems
A Hero for All
“Save us! Save us!”
The commoners cry,
But who can save them?
It is I!
I fly in to the rescue
Whatever the hour.
I’m Powerhouse William,
But you can call me Will Power.
I give you the strength
To deny temptation,
But my power is subject
To a few limitations.
I do not work evenings
Or when chocolate is involved.
Other than that, just call me
And your problem is solved.
Filed under Poems
The Friendly Giant
Giant big,
Peasant small.
Giant’s hands
Like wrecking ball.
But giant doesn’t
Wreck too much.
He uses giant hands
To touch
The wounded folk,
Large or small.
He hates pain,
He fix it all.
Giant sees
A little pain,
Giant fix it,
Shine or rain.
Giant isn’t
Very smart,
But giant has
A giant heart.
Filed under Poems
TV
NBC and TNT,
CBS and ABC,
History, ESPN
Discovery and CNN.
All these channels
And hundreds more
All striving not
To be a bore.
Yet of all the options
There are but two shows to see:
“I wish I were them”
And “I’m glad that’s not me.”
Filed under Poems
Questions of Safety
How big are bigfoot’s children’s feet?
How sassy are their quatches?
We imagine so, yet I don’t know,
So we’ve set up neighborhood watches.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 