Tag Archives: Bugs

Bugging Out

There once were a fly and a flea

Who were healthy and lived in a tree,

Then they flew in a flue

And contracted the flu

And decided to, from the flue, flee.

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A Warning To Insects, Politicians, And Others Of Their Kind (AKA Welcome To The Watchlist Thou Crappy Poet)

“Glorify me!”

Yelled the beetle

Before he was squashed

By old Mr. Cheadle.

So if you think you’re important

You’d best think again

Or else be on the lookout

For little old men.

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You Think I’m Joking…

I want a theme park

Where 60-foot insects

Entertain guests

Who beside the bugs sit.

I hope the bugs bite

And destroy anybody

Who’s freaky enough

To buy a ticket to it.

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Theme Song For An Upcoming Children’s TV Show

He’s big and pink and fluffy,

Endearing, round, and puffy.

He’s very seldom scruffy…

It’s Murderface the Roach!

He loves your hugs and kisses.

He asks “you know what this is?

“It’s your dead former missus”

Says Murderface the Roach!

He’s the most huggable

Large chitinous bug able

To strangle you

In an alley at night!

He’s at home in the hood

Though he’s misunderstood

But if you bring that up

Best be ready to fight!

He’s got a friendly guise

That to trust would not be wise

Because he’ll stab you in the eyes.

It’s muuuuuuur

Deeeeeeer

Faaaaaaaaace

Theeeeeeeee

Rooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaa!

Ch.

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This Bugs Me

A solid block of milk

Hits a grown up caterpillar

Who bursts into tears.

The butter flies,

The moth bawls.

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Learning To Bee Yourself

They’re coming at seven

And this place is a mess.

There are larvae all over the walls.

We’ve not enough pollen

To feed all our guests,

And the queen is asking for my balls.
The workers are striking.

The drones are conversing.

The soldiers are sewing on stripes.

I’ve just about had it

With this dinner party

And all of my coworkers’ gripes.
Thus said the hornet

Who dared to be different.

‘Twas his nature. He didn’t know why.

Later that day

After leaving the nest

He learned that he’d been born a fly.

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The Exterminator’s Creed

If it has two legs, I’ll greet it.
If it has four legs, that’s great.
But my favorite things have lots of legs
And a minimum of eight.

If it has two eyeballs, splendid.
One or zero is more on par,
But the more eyeballs the better
Especially if you can’t tell where they are.

It’s good that I have these preferences
Since my job title is “The Bug Guy.”
I love creepy critters in all shapes and types,
And especially making them die.

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Death to All Insects

Ugh! A bug!
I gave it a hug
From my heavy-duty, carbon-fiber swatter.

Another is spied,
And I can’t conceal my pride
‘Cause my darling saw the second bug and shot ‘er.

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