I don’t know if God is real
But when I went to the doc
I found my religious beliefs attacked
Which was a nasty shock.
He drew some blood, and so I asked
“What’s it called when you do a test?”
Doc said, “Diagnostic”
And I ran away (that seemed best).
Tag Archives: Agnostic
It’s A Matter Of Efficiency, Really
Today is Easter, as you know.
It’s also April Fool’s Day.
I think those go together
As they celebrate the way
That Jesus was all dead and stuff
And then suddenly he wasn’t.
The two holidays make sense to me
Because the whole “not dead” thing doesn’t.
What also doesn’t make much sense
Is a question of this kind:
It’s that God sacrificed himself
To appease himself I mind.
Not only that, but if it’s true
That Jesus isn’t dead
Then why not find another way
To cure one’s Godly head?
It seems if you’re omnipotent
You could just say “hey folks,
“Get your shit together”
Instead of the “oops, not dead yet” jokes.
But I am just a human
And can’t be my own son
So I’ll just eat my chocolate eggs
And let His will be done.
Filed under Poems
Easter Musings from a Heathen
Good morning Meesis
And good morning Meester,
And good morning meez for the feminists,
And Happy Easter!
It’s a day we celebrate
Jesus’s resurrection
With oviparous rabbits
And a sugar injection.
So hunt for those eggs
And hunt for that profit
And remember the Lord,
Our savior and prophet
And offer a prayer
For that great plastic hen
Who’s had her eggs stolen
Over and over again.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 