Tag Archives: Agnostic

But If A Doctor Says “Die Jew”, Historians Make A Whole Thing About It…

I don’t know if God is real

But when I went to the doc

I found my religious beliefs attacked

Which was a nasty shock.

He drew some blood, and so I asked

“What’s it called when you do a test?”

Doc said, “Diagnostic”

And I ran away (that seemed best).

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

It’s A Matter Of Efficiency, Really

Today is Easter, as you know.

It’s also April Fool’s Day.

I think those go together

As they celebrate the way

That Jesus was all dead and stuff

And then suddenly he wasn’t.

The two holidays make sense to me

Because the whole “not dead” thing doesn’t.

What also doesn’t make much sense

Is a question of this kind:

It’s that God sacrificed himself

To appease himself I mind.

Not only that, but if it’s true

That Jesus isn’t dead

Then why not find another way

To cure one’s Godly head?

It seems if you’re omnipotent

You could just say “hey folks,

“Get your shit together”

Instead of the “oops, not dead yet” jokes.

But I am just a human

And can’t be my own son

So I’ll just eat my chocolate eggs

And let His will be done.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Easter Musings from a Heathen

Good morning Meesis
And good morning Meester,
And good morning meez for the feminists,
And Happy Easter!

It’s a day we celebrate
Jesus’s resurrection
With oviparous rabbits
And a sugar injection.

So hunt for those eggs
And hunt for that profit
And remember the Lord,
Our savior and prophet

And offer a prayer
For that great plastic hen
Who’s had her eggs stolen
Over and over again.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems