If they say “duck” then you’re in luck.
If they say “goose” you must vamoose.
If they say “I will reduce carbon emissions”
You’re playing with future politicians.
Tag Archives: Games
Chess
Chess is a game played on a board
Where you use wit and not a sword
To slay a king opposing yours
Instead of doing your daily chores.
The queen and rooks and pawns and knights
All run around and get in fights
To prove, once and for all, just who
Has nothing else better to do
Than read a hundred books about
Which piece is best to first move out
Or what series of moves will make concrete
The other colored king’s defeat.
It’s not a skill you learn in school.
It’s not a skill to make you cool
And yet Chess will outlive us all
So grab a board and have a ball!
Filed under Poems
There Will Be Signs…
If I ever say
“Let’s play some Monopoly”
I’ve been body-snatched.
Filed under Poems
Good… You’re Finally Awake!
There once was a dragonborn chap
Who fell into an Imperial trap.
But in an odd twist
He was not on the list
And then down a dragon did flap…
Filed under Poems
Perspectives
There was a competitive game
Where everyone’s setup’s the same.
The winners opined
“This game’s well-designed”
But the loser opined, “No, it’s lame.”
Filed under Poems
Games, Then And Now
Games Now
So each of you has a unique lord
That determines if you place your board
At the forest’s edge or river’s ford
Before you fight the endless hoard.
On your turn, you have three actions
To influence the seven factions
Through use of normal or dire impactions…
Oops! Here’s the glossary of contractions.
So, then, after the action phase
You choose which players fold or raise
And the loser of the wager pays
To choose which opponent the goblin slays.
Repeat like this for three more rounds
Until the hoard no longer abounds
At which point we imitate the sounds
Of the wyverns fleeing from the grounds.
The winner is the player who’s
Captured the most opponent’s clues
Without revealing their unique ruse
And after paying union dues.
Games Then
So you roll a pair of dice
And you move that many squares
And you pay each other money
Until no one really cares.
Filed under Poems
Intro To VR Games
Just stand here and look around
And see the zombies, hear the sound…
You’ll be ok. The only failing
Is if you trip over the railing.
Filed under Poems
I’m Just That Bad
The good news is I played Mario Kart;
The bad news is I didn’t win;
The good news is I placed 5th;
The bad news is only four were playin’;
The good news is I’m humble;
The bad news is my kart
Was twice as fast as everyone else
And had a six minute head start.
Filed under Poems
On Monetization (For A Limited Time, You Can See This Poem’s Secret Full Title For Just $1.99 When You Like And Subscribe)!
I’ll tell you a tale of a terror
Of a fellow whose job starts with “C”.
He sold silly stuff, but it wasn’t enough
To make “millionaire” start with a “B”.
So it would seem that he dreamed up a scheme
Where whenever one wanted to win
They could wait for an hour to double their power
Or just pay not to wait to begin.
From there they’d enable the financially stable
To get, just a bit at a time,
A pack of fine hats that add one to your stats
For eleventy-one gems and a dime.
I’m not sure which curse is objectively worse:
The fact that they dreamed up this plan
Or that players will buy ‘til the debt hits their eye
For a chance at a doodad in tan.
And yet player one wants a gun that’s more fun
And mom’s credit card’s been pre-approved…
Or how about trying to stop all our buying
Until C-level guy gets removed?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 