Tag Archives: Politically Incorrect

Divorce, The Old-Fashioned Way

If I had a hundred camels

And a thousand mules

I could buy your daughter’s love

‘Cause those are the nuptial rules.

But you’d demand a thousand camels

And diamonds by the sack

If I got to know your daughter

And wanted to give her back.

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Modern Conveniences

While I’m on the road

I shop for ammo online.

Times aren’t all that bad!

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Win-Win(chester)

If everybody had a gun

The world would be a lot of fun

And if everyone died ‘cause I was wrong

No one would complain this poem ain’t long.

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The First Zebra Is Born

There was a majestic white horse

Who was, of nature, a force.

She said “It’s alright

“That our kid’s black and white”

But her husband still wants a divorce.

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Assault? Blacklist Him! Sex Slavery? Let’s Let Him Slide Quietly Out Of The Public Eye (Yay Hollywood)

There once was an actor named Will

Who was punished for slapping, until

He thought “I’ll never be arrested

“If they knew I molested

“And trafficked minors for capitol hill!”

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One Upside To WW III

In a positive twist on current events,

It seems the number of incidents

Of accidental gunshots dropped

When everybody suddenly stopped

Tolerating anything Russian,

Which apparently included pushing

A swift end to games of Russian Roulette.

So hey! Take what good news you get!

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‘Cause Female Equality, Am I Right? (Plus We Get To See Tom Cruise In A Bikini)

Just once I want to see a film

Where a short male action star

Beats up a bunch of amazons

And never gets a scar,

Pummeling the female goons

With his 5th percentile fists

But we’ll never see that movie

‘Cause sexism exists.

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Model U.N.

Somebody somewhere decided one day

That most of the countries on earth

Should send representatives to talk about

Things that have slim to no worth.

Then somebody somewhere looked at that group

And said, “Hey all my scholastic friends,

“What if we did that make-believe peace thing

“But for us it will just be pretend?”

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Chatting With The “Mirror Selfie” Girls…

Sometimes I look in the mirror

And see myself staring at me,

And when I clean the glass it gets clearer

And I know it’s my face that I see

And I look at myself and think “Wow!

“That’s expected, and not very shocking!”

And that, my dear lady, is what I perceive

And thus space out when you start talking.

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Also: Free Healthcare, Renewable Energy, And The Gyms Pay YOU

What if all the billionaires

Just stood out on the street

And walked around in circles

And challenged everyone they’d meet

To have a Pokemon battle

That they would surely lose

And give the winner money?

But alas, they’re only jews.

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