Tag Archives: Politically Incorrect

Criminal Justice 101

For those who aren’t aware,

Jail and prison are not the same.

To help remember which is which

You can play this little game:

If you piss off any cop

You’ll go to a jail cell.

If you’re either poor or black

You’ll go to prison as well.

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9/10 University Professors Think This Acronym Is Invalid…

If you’re like me and I’m like you

You hear a lot about LGBTQ,

Perhaps even about BIPOC,

But never about SPWCOV.

Now it’s important to tolerate

Those who are gay, lesbian, trans,

And those who are bisexual

And whatever it is for which “Q” stands,

It’s important to have empathy

And remember the plights

Of those who are indigenous

And all the other non-whites,

And women deserve a mention

So the feminists can’t fine us…

But what about the Straight People

Without Color Or Vaginas?

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What Did The Pot Call The Kettle Again?

Nothing like the NFL

To use their helmets to tell

That the one-percent lacks

Empathy for the blacks

And are violent towards them as well.

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It’s A Mystery!

I don’t get why some folks don’t like me.

I do all the things that they say

Like supporting the wenches and slant-eyes and injuns

And even my cousin who’s gay.

I don’t get why people think I am offensive

When all thems is stupid and fat.

I guess they must envy my skills in the kitchen…

Those Jews don’t know how to cook rat!

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How To Offend Everyone In Eight Lines Or Less

She drove like she was asian.

She swam like she was black.

She jumped like a caucasian

With a dolphin on her back.

She wasn’t good at anything;

If she tried, she’d fail

But she was still ten-times better

Than every straight white male.

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Fairy Yales

Once upon a time

There was a tiny little rock

Who was the world’s preeminent scholar

On the early works of Bach.

The little rock was erudite

Yet its career went South

On account of probably white people

And, also, its lack of mouth.

——————————————————–

Once upon a time

A woman majored in STEM

And made millions teaching women

The ways that men were bad to them.

She could have been an engineer

And done science and stuff

But instead she told the patriarchs

She wasn’t paid enough.

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Microaggressions

I told my friend “good morning”

And they just said “morning” back

Which makes me wonder what I did

To deserve that sort of attack.

——————————————————–

He said “My pronoun’s potato

“Instead of he, him, and his.”

I mumbled “What isn’t a pronoun”

And he shouted “Yes, what is!”

——————————————————–

I ate dessert for breakfast

Though I don’t know how or why;

I made some scrambled eggs

But they identified as pie.

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And Then They Hear “Hee, Hee, Hee” And Start Screaming About Representation For Other Pronouns In The Onomatopoeia Of Laughter

California made it illegal

To discriminate based on hairstyle.

This is one of the greatest things

I’ve heard in quite a while

Because, based on liberal input,

I know that all white people are racist

And I’ve developed the ultimate strategy

For cutting my hair on that basis:

It’s illegal to bias one’s choices

For traditional hairstyles of race

Like cornrows or dreadlocks or afros

And because this is the case

I can shave my head to spell letters,

Specifically “I disagree.”

Now watch as the left calls me Hitler

And I just say “Hee, hee, hee.”

Dedicated to Helen, My Evil Stepsister 🙂

Want to suggest a poem topic? Leave a comment or email thedailytravesty@yahoo.com

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Tonight Both Actually Apply

Sometimes I love writing poems;

Of that there is no doubt.

But sometimes I’m like a single mom on welfare

Just tryin’ to crank another one out.

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Also, Just Kinda Gross

They asked me to hold up

Fermented canola, you see.

I refused the order…

Sounds like supporting rapeseed culture to me.

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