The “boom” at the end of the year
Was the doom of my teaching career.
Tag Archives: Humor
Distractions
Distractions are a reality.
Of life, they’re an integral part.
You must always be careful
To finish what you
Make Of It What You Will
The dragon did think
It’d be cool to have ink
And so decided, “what the heck?”
The jungle cat, too,
Got a tattoo
Of a human on it’s neck.
Filed under Poems
The Obligatory Mom Poem (Love Ya Mom!)
My mom is great, amazing, fine,
Perfect and extraordinary.
I’m grateful to her for all she does
And not naming me “Norman Harry.”
My mom is splendid, glorious, good,
Supremely radiant and such.
She supports my rhyming habits,
Even if it’s a bit too much.
My mom is strong and good-looking
And her children are above average.
She’s a fixture of nature,
Like a coral reef or lava-ridge.
My mom’s terrific, pretty good,
And her favorite color is purple.
She’s cuter than a bumblebee
And sweeter than maple-surple.
There are so many adjectives
That my mother can be.
She changed the world a thousandfold
By giving birth to me.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
The Rogue Turns 21
Murderous harlots,
Criminal trollops,
And other such vagrants
Gathereth here.
They bring you candles
And tall paper hats
To cherish your living
Another whole year.
They blow on noisemakers
And sing stupid songs,
Cut open your cake
With a cold-steel blade.
A few sacrifice
A goat in your honor.
Throughout it all
Your face remains staid.
As your friends dance
In your post-birthday haze
You lighten their purses
And head out the door.
You retire wealthy,
And don’t even mind
That your D&D group
Doesn’t like you no more.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Supply and Demand
No one ever paid to see
My possum, who played “dead.”
Now I have a dead possum
Who plays “alive” instead.
Filed under Poems
License Renewal Time
I legally changed my name
To hhdgicdtkifddhutee,
Just to screw with the guys
Working at the DMV.
Filed under Poems
Play To Your Strengths
I asked for honest feedback
On my good qualities.
I guess I should be prouder
Of my “unobtrusive sneeze.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 