Tag Archives: Accidents

Sorry Mr. President, But You Can’t Come Back To Disneyland

Everything was going well

Until I ate that Taco Bell…

For one glorious ride I was a fountain

In the very first car upon Splash Mountain.

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Modern Sports

Thwunk!

Up goes the ball.

Oooh!

Up goes the excitement.

Aaaah!

Uo goes the hot dog guy into the ambulance.

Click!

Up go the youtube views.

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The Diving Contest

Ten-dollar swimsuit,

Twelve silver rungs,

Six feet of diving board,

Twelve-foot deep water,

Four-hundred cheering fans,

Two feet too far left,

Five nights at the hospital,

Countless memories.

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Malpractice

I went to the doctor.

I was feeling sick.

He hit me with a hammer

And tried to make me kick.
And so I kicked (a bit to hard).

I hope he can still chew…

Now I’ll see if a chiropractor

Can cure my stomach flu.

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Chemistry

The “boom” at the end of the year

Was the doom of my teaching career.

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Driver’s Ed Dropouts

Saw down a tree.
Chop it down with an ax.
Burn it, chainsaw it,
Send it anthrax.

There are lots of good ways
To get rid of a tree,
But hitting it with your car
Doesn’t sound smart to me.

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