There one was a film about heroes
That didn’t gross quite enough zeroes.
Disney said, “Make it funny
“And we’ll make way more money,”
Then the CEO ordered some gyros.
Tag Archives: Marvel
This Gender-Swap BS Is Making Me Thor
When I hear Disney the Almighty
Makes a movie about Aphrodite
And Tom Selleck’s the star
(And it isn’t subpar)
Then I’ll sigh and perhaps say alrighty.”
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If I want to be Samuel L. Jackson
For Halloween, I cannot.
I can’t on the basis
That blackface is racist,
Or at least that is what I was taught.
But when Marvel takes a Norse God
And make him a random white chick
That’s not a slight
‘Cause he’s already white
And why can’t a Norse God lack a dick?
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When someone signals virtue
But obviously have none
Why don’t we call their bluff?
I know I have had enough.
Signed, a white guy with a gun.
Filed under Poems
He’s Only Unqualified Because Privilege!
Marvel should create someone
Whose a hero with no powers,
Like a non-billionaire Batman
In front of whom no villain cowers.
He should be short and poor and whiny,
Cry a lot and be a victim
And whenever he’s out heroing
The Avengers ask “who picked ‘im?”
He displays no special qualities,
Lacks gadgets, brains, and strength
Which is why those who are like him
Need representation. At any length…
I think the point I’m making
Is while, sure, “Super” is great
We need an Affirmative Action Hero!
(Now your hate mail I await)
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 