A train is coming down a track
On which doth a maiden lie.
If I took no action
It was certain that she’d die
But if I threw a lever
The train would change its track
And Taylor Swift would never die.
Now on maiden crows do snack.
Tag Archives: Morality
To Those Of The Feminist Persuasion, We Salute You Whether Or Not You Think It’s Necessary (Or Even Admirable For That Matter) Because We Have Fragile Egos Or A Sense Of Courtesy Or Perpetual Boners Or Something
Chivalry is the idea
That men are born to places
Where they should sacrifice their pleasure
For the sake of pretty faces.
Feminism is the idea
That men are born as assholes
And should sacrifice their pleasure
‘Cause women deserve castles.
The masculine perspective
Is one of courtesy, not necessity.
The feminine perspective
Is “don’t be nice, yet show respect for me.”
So after certain days of chivalry,
Whether or not there was a need for it,
I question the fundamental premise
That a woman cannot indeed be hit.
Now I’m not a violent person;
I’d never hit someone, regardless of adjective,
But a fruit rollup to the face or something
Could do wonders to change a perspective?
So to sum up, chivalry’s alive
Just like the naked mole rat,
Yet some people will prefer “equality”
Just like, for a pet, they’d like a housecat.
Filed under Poems
Mercy and Reason
I can understand the fear
Of Muslims, guns, and thugs.
I see we people punish
Those who sell illegal drugs.
Despite my understanding,
I can’t support the death penalty
Unless you spoil “The Force Awakens,”
In which case it’s fine with me.
Filed under Poems
Eternal Anything
Nine times out of eleven
A guy can go to Heaven,
And to be among the nine
Tops my list of fears.
For hymns and harps are great,
And for flying I can’t wait,
But eternity is just too much
When you live 100 years.
So take your eternal pleasure
I’ll just enjoy my leisure
On this temporary paradise
That’s called mortality.
That doesn’t make me bad
(Maybe in one sense, but not a cad).
Life can be enjoyed
With a sense of finite morality.
Filed under Uncategorized
Re-Deeming Qualities
Oft was Bob deemed
A fellow quite proper
‘Til the day he was stopped
By a motorcycle copper
Who issued of a ticket
Worth two hundred and four
For speeding. Now Bob
Is deemed proper no more.
Filed under Poems
