Tag Archives: Morality

A Moral Dilemma

A train is coming down a track

On which doth a maiden lie.

If I took no action

It was certain that she’d die

But if I threw a lever

The train would change its track

And Taylor Swift would never die.

Now on maiden crows do snack.

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To Those Of The Feminist Persuasion, We Salute You Whether Or Not You Think It’s Necessary (Or Even Admirable For That Matter) Because We Have Fragile Egos Or A Sense Of Courtesy Or Perpetual Boners Or Something

Chivalry is the idea

That men are born to places

Where they should sacrifice their pleasure

For the sake of pretty faces.

Feminism is the idea

That men are born as assholes

And should sacrifice their pleasure

‘Cause women deserve castles.

The masculine perspective

Is one of courtesy, not necessity.

The feminine perspective

Is “don’t be nice, yet show respect for me.”

So after certain days of chivalry,

Whether or not there was a need for it,

I question the fundamental premise

That a woman cannot indeed be hit.

Now I’m not a violent person;

I’d never hit someone, regardless of adjective,

But a fruit rollup to the face or something

Could do wonders to change a perspective?

So to sum up, chivalry’s alive

Just like the naked mole rat,

Yet some people will prefer “equality”

Just like, for a pet, they’d like a housecat.

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Mercy and Reason

I can understand the fear

Of Muslims, guns, and thugs.

I see we people punish

Those who sell illegal drugs.

Despite my understanding,

I can’t support the death penalty

Unless you spoil “The Force Awakens,”

In which case it’s fine with me.

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Eternal Anything

Nine times out of eleven
A guy can go to Heaven,
And to be among the nine
Tops my list of fears.

For hymns and harps are great,
And for flying I can’t wait,
But eternity is just too much
When you live 100 years.

So take your eternal pleasure
I’ll just enjoy my leisure
On this temporary paradise
That’s called mortality.

That doesn’t make me bad
(Maybe in one sense, but not a cad).
Life can be enjoyed
With a sense of finite morality.

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Re-Deeming Qualities

Oft was Bob deemed
A fellow quite proper
‘Til the day he was stopped
By a motorcycle copper

Who issued of a ticket
Worth two hundred and four
For speeding. Now Bob
Is deemed proper no more.

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