So I got a job driving a forklift
At a barometer factory.
I’m not very good at it yet
So if a massive storm hits, that was me.
Tag Archives: Obscure
The Middle Child (68)
I remember how my sister,
69, was always “nice”.
Then my brother, 67,
Became a meme. It happened twice!
Yet here I am, poor 68,
Unrecognized ‘til now.
I am still important though,
And let me tell you how:
I’m the atomic number for Erbium
And the number of squares in Chutes and Ladders;
Emperor Nero died in year 68
So Julio-Claudians think that matters;
I’m a trope for a generic hotel room number
And the latitude of midnight sun;
L.C. Greenwood of the Steelers
Wore my number. Super fun!
I’m two-times-two times seventeen
And a Californian highway
And still despite these awesome facts
I never get things my way…
For now I’ll stay anonymous
As seems to be my fate
But watch for me on YouTube
In 2028.
Filed under Poems
JJ Abrams Does Shakespeare
Whereupon the stymied patisserie
So quotidien in its avarice
Did lament the paternal accessorie
Whom were betwixt its effervescence
So flattering were its satellites
In the corona of solarium
That I could end this poem
Without rhyming.
Filed under Poems
Steal From The Naughty, Give To His Homies
If Santa were a rapper,
He’d also be a pirate.
Here’s the evidence for how I know:
Rappers greet each other
By saying “yo” most often,
So rapper/pirate Santa’d say “yo ho ho!”
Filed under Poems
Econ 400, Minute 1
Via obfuscatory principles
And derivative pomp
It is my imperative to greet you
To my academic romp,
Wherein the equilibrium,
Elasticities, and curves
Shall give M. Night Shyamalan
Envy of my topical swerves.
I do hope to saturate you
In the ways of Bayes and Nash
While displaying free-market principles
By trading good grades for cash.
Please infer your syllabus,
Or you shan’t this lecture win.
Now, like a prisoner’s dilemma,
To start, we must begin…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 