Once in the land of Kibosh
In the castle between worlds
Was the mighty warrior, Yargh,
And the dice he deftly hurled.
He gambled with the gnomes and elves
And other clever fey
But lightning struck and Yargh’s great luck
Won the money and the day.
A fighter yes, so strong and bold
With blood as cold as ice
But we sing not of his prowess
With the blade, but of the dice.
So sing of Yargh the fortunate,
The winner of our game.
His only lack of luck is that
His parents chose that name.
Filed under Poems
To my one and only who left me to cry
Just a month after love in the month of July:
I hope in my heart you are happy and well
Though I know I won’t see you again!
To the one whom I sang to by river and trail
Without even a thought that our kinship could fail:
I hope in my heart that you’re singing right now
With a voice I’ll hear never again!
To the one I confided in joy and in pain,
Whom I kissed on a bridge in the darkness and rain:
I hope in my heart that you’ll never be lonely
Though I’ll never caress you again!
To the heart that you broke that is healing tonight
I promise you’ll once again feel alright!
I hope you keep hoping and loving forever,
For hoping for love is a worthy endeavor,
And because you loved once you’ll be light as a feather
Even if you love never again!
Filed under Poems
Marjorie Jean was a mysterious queen
Who brought me to a miniature land
Where pain and fear did disappear
But not a bit was bland.
She took me out on a walkabout
For a sandwich of significant size
Then we’d settle in as the games begin
Until the evening had sealed our eyes.
But the morning sun said “you’re not done”
And two cats were fondled and fed
Before M and I walked with Mr. Blue Sky
To the land where the sharks go to bed.
A party of two then suddenly grew
And so did the Marjories double.
This new, larger band celebrated as planned
With all of the expected trouble.
And so fed, I turned with my face and neck burned,
And sped off in a car doused in Axe.
One day I’ll be seen back with Marjorie Jean,
And until that day two hearts relax.
Filed under Poems
I know you want me to sing you a song
‘Cause you’re feeling okey-dokey.
But I don’t sing. I’m the Piano Man.
Why don’t y’all go and sing Karaoke?
Filed under Poems
Via obfuscatory principles
And derivative pomp
It is my imperative to greet you
To my academic romp,
Wherein the equilibrium,
Elasticities, and curves
Shall give M. Night Shyamalan
Envy of my topical swerves.
I do hope to saturate you
In the ways of Bayes and Nash
While displaying free-market principles
By trading good grades for cash.
Please infer your syllabus,
Or you shan’t this lecture win.
Now, like a prisoner’s dilemma,
To start, we must begin…
Filed under Poems
Did you hear the tale
Of the bulldog named Krupp?
If you have, crazy huh?
If not, look it up.
Filed under Poems
I’m headin’ down South on the oregon trail,
So this poem is my last
For one long week, but cry not friends,
I’m sure it’ll go by fast.
I just hope we do not have
To ford a river crossing,
And that we don’t get dysentery
And can continue flossing.
And should our wagon wheel break
We’ll fix it by ourselves,
‘Cause trading with Indians is not politically correct,
And we can’t trade with elves.
And should we die along the way
We get to leave a tombstone
That tells others who come this way
That we did meet our doom-stone.
So farewell to those whose childhood
Was full of these Oregonian fails.
For those of you who don’t understand,
Here’s a link, and happy trails!
The Daily Travesty 