Tag Archives: Big Words

When Your Vocabulary Is Larger Than Your Target Audience

‘Twas Christmas Eve morning

And one hirsute hyperborean

Was done making toys

And now streaming “The Mandolorian.”

In a matter of hours

Gifts would be delivered on-time.

Meanwhile, one naughty poet

Was pleased with a rhyme.

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Thus Was Born A PhD

The problems with school are many

But the primary lamentation

Is that the methodology

Lacks invigorating implementation.

Instead of “teaching math”

We could promote symbolic logic.

Instead of “reading textbooks”

Let’s devour tomes-pedagogic.

Instead of “learning new words”

Let’s rejuvenate the vernacular.

It’s these zeitgeist-alterations

That would make school more spectacular.

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A Poem Is Only A Poem If You Don’t Understand It (Chicks Dig Metapoetry)

Wherefore do we seek a verse

From yonder parent, babe, or nurse

To instruct us in verbal mosaic

Both obfuscatory and archaic?

Wherefore, also I must ask,

Do we encourage such a task

Except to inhabit the proverbial sack

With those who a Y chromosome lack?

And yet contests and prizes plenty

Abound for verses-sentimenty.

Especially now that need of a bard

Is largely supplanted by the Hallmark card.

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The Rhyme’s The Thing

You may assume that you are right

If this verbage seems erudite,

But past the splendorous facade

The verisimilitude is not so odd.

Betwixt this linguist’s obfuscation

Surmise his true preoccupation;

To force the same phonemic core

Between line past and line before.

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All My Friends Disserted Me (The Modern Woe Of PhDs)

If you want to seem intelligent

Valediction of erudition

Is phermonically aleviated

By trepidation vis a cognition.

In the circumstance of dereliction

Of your vocabulative varelse

You may query my acquaintance

Or acquaint with someone else.


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Art Appreciation, Chapter One

Visualize synchronicity:

The epiphanies stimulate

Largesse and postulation.

Improvement is realized through 

Calamitous virtues,

And that is why pigs are green.

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To All The PhDs Enjoying a Sporting Event Today (Or On A Given Future Day, Circumstances Permitting)

I realize this day is special

For a contest will take place

In which genetically superior constituents

Will seek, in scoring, to outpace

Their counterparts in opposition

Within a time allotted,

Thus justifying the fiduciary endowments

With which said constituents are besotted.

I hope that in future contests

Of similar athletic variety

That your subgroup of physically-fit object-movers

May prove worthy of your them-focused piety.

In fact, I would extend my well wishes

That your team may excel in perpetuity

Until their superior members inevitably decay

And we may correct our lost-time incongruity.

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Econ 400, Minute 1

Via obfuscatory principles
And derivative pomp
It is my imperative to greet you
To my academic romp,

Wherein the equilibrium,
Elasticities, and curves
Shall give M. Night Shyamalan
Envy of my topical swerves.

I do hope to saturate you
In the ways of Bayes and Nash
While displaying free-market principles
By trading good grades for cash.

Please infer your syllabus,
Or you shan’t this lecture win.
Now, like a prisoner’s dilemma,
To start, we must begin…

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