We used to have passwords
But those were insecure.
Now we use authenticators
So we can know for sure
That the person who entered their password
And scanned their fingerprint and eye
To send an “I forgot my password” link
Is not, in fact, AI.
Tag Archives: Passwords
Solving The Hunger Crisis One Innovation At A Time
In the future you’ll go to buy groceries
And the checkout robot will ask
To confirm that you are human
By completing a simple task:
Enter your username and password
And a random six-digit code
That was transmitted to your brain chip
From the authenticator node
Except your authenticator
Got a security update
That prevents your internal keyboard
From typing the number “8”
So you pause your grocery buying
And call the password reset guy
Which is just another robot
And you check “yes” to die.
Filed under Poems
OnlineS3curi+y101
It asked me for my password;
I entered happyfreebird.
It said I needed a capital;
I wrote happyfreebirdL.
It said you need a number too;
I wrote happyfreebirdL2.
It said your password is weak and so is your bloodline, your identity will be stolen and you’ll deserve it you basic, filthy fleshbag;
I wrote gibberish because I’m just going to click “Forgot my password” anyway.
Filed under Poems
Please Confirm Password… Please!
Some people are scared of spiders,
Some people are scared of mice,
But everyone’s scared of making a password
And typing the same mistake twice.
Filed under Poems
Tell Me This Doesn’t Rhyme!
Ding Chang was changing his password
To 🈚️🈶🈷️🈸🈺
But Google called it invalid
So instead he wrote 🈚️🈶🈷️🈸🈵
Filed under Poems
I’ll Probably Just End Up Unsubscribing Anyway…
There is a website
That hands out free money,
Feeds hungry children,
And makes dreams come true.
I didn’t go there.
I’d have to make an account
And I’ve too many passwords
Already. Don’t you?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 