I hope someday AI
Will steal something I make
And put it on a motivational poster
That a kid will learn is fake
And that the insincere message
Will be that child’s final straw
And they’ll achieve cynical nirvana.
Is that a character flaw?
Tag Archives: AI
Or GTA 6 (My Disappointment Is Immeasurable)
We’ve almost achieved
AI singularity.
Still no laser sharks.
Filed under Poems
Suddenly, Elon’s Kids Are Grateful
So all of the people named Siri,
And also Alexa and Claude
Have joined the ranks of Karen and Dick.
We tried to choose names that were odd
But why not name AI Muhammed,
Maria, Michael, or James?
Sure, it might cause some wrong emails
But also inspire new names!
Filed under Poems
It All Depends On Development Time
My only doubt about World War 3
Is whether it will be fought
By actual guys with an Xbox controller
Or the guy shooting back they call “bot”.
Filed under Poems
When You Add AI…
Duolingo used to teach
Useful phrases like:
“I want to eat a dinosaur”
And “My dog can ride a bike”.
Now it tells you stories
Like “Hi Lucy, I’m making bread.”
“Thank you, Junior. I saw a ghost.”
Then ask, “Which word means ‘head?’”
Filed under Poems
Test Scores Declining = Ineffective Terminators
What if a time traveler became a teacher
And for a few decades or so
Just didn’t teach people to write
Because they already know
That AI will destroy the world
And our only hope are those
Who trained the AI how to write
Using their own terrible prose?
Filed under Poems
What An Improvement!
AI is a tool
Like search engines without ads.
Also, it has ads.
Filed under Poems
Solving The Hunger Crisis One Innovation At A Time
In the future you’ll go to buy groceries
And the checkout robot will ask
To confirm that you are human
By completing a simple task:
Enter your username and password
And a random six-digit code
That was transmitted to your brain chip
From the authenticator node
Except your authenticator
Got a security update
That prevents your internal keyboard
From typing the number “8”
So you pause your grocery buying
And call the password reset guy
Which is just another robot
And you check “yes” to die.
Filed under Poems
The Future Is Now
I write an essay for my class
Using ChatGPT.
The AI-checker software says
It was written by me.
But I write a post on Facebook
That includes the phrase, “The Jews”
And I get called a Russian bot
And scolded on the news.
Filed under Poems
Upsides
The nice thing about AI ads
Is that they’re poorly done
So I’ve no need to buy their stuff
And so declare we won.
Another proof of victory
Is that the CEOs shelled out
A lot of money for this tech
And thus without a doubt
Will double down on ineffective
Tools for advertising.
AI will bring a golden age
Of happily not buying!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 