Tag Archives: Computers

Now You Know Why DeerDon’t Use iPhones

There once was a buck from Melrose

Who smelled something sweet with his nose.

His friends said “That crap’ll

“Most oft be an apple.

“Forget it. Let’s go out and win does.”

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Troubleshooting

This year I’ve devoted a considerable portion of time to two activities: Dating, and IT support. While normally doing both of these at the same time decreases the enjoyment in both activities, I’ve realized the two have a lot more in common than one might think. For example:

1. Bars are not good places to look for women or computers.

2. Most things you can’t recover from occur because of memory failures.

3. While tempting, upgrading to newer models is expensive and prone to supply shortages.

4. You will be appreciated for your people skills, not your technical expertise.

5. If you need to look up answers in a book, do it when you’re alone.

6. If something is smoking and/or leaking fluid, RUN!

7. You can know how things work, but you’ll rarely know why.

8. You sound smart if you notice incremental changes in appearance.

9. Nobody wants to hear graphic details (or details about graphics).

10. Most of the time you screw up, the error message comes too late to fix anything.

And the ultimate key:

11. When in doubt, make sure it’s turned on.

Also, the more energy you put in, the hotter everything gets.

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All Keys Are Equal, But Some Are More Equal Than Others

I asked my mom, the keyboard,

Who her favorite child was.

She said, “I have no favorite

“And the reason is because

“I love all my kids the same.

“They’re all precious to me.”

And everyone believed her

Except the right “SHIFT” key.

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Please Confirm Password… Please!

Some people are scared of spiders,

Some people are scared of mice,

But everyone’s scared of making a password

And typing the same mistake twice.

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