My throat is sore,
My voice is hoarse,
But at least now I know
I can’t speak Norse.
Tag Archives: Pun
The Value Of A Missing Letter
Carved of granite, nine feet tall,
He stares down and calls you small.
If your likeness, he is an imitation.
He is your statue of limitation.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Anonymous Donor
I have a fountain on my porch.
It’s one I never bought.
I have a fountain in my truck
That, on the road, I caught.
I’ve got twelve fountains all in all.
New ones turn up now and then.
I keep them safe in my back yard,
Within my fountain pen.
Filed under Poems
The Bag and Pipes
I’ve been told by friends of mine
That I have no filter
Because I saw a naked Scottish man
And said he was “off-kilter.”
Filed under Poems
Finally, A Use For It!
Six months since I finished college,
Four years wasted I reckon
For I can’t remember what I “learned”
And waitstaff openings beckon.
So one afternoon in protest
I went to my front door
And laid down my diploma
Right upon the mudroom floor.
That autographed piece of card stock
Was not very useful at
Getting a foot in the door,
But it makes a good DiploMat.
Filed under Poems
Experiments
I swallowed a paper airplane,
Although not to I was told.
I don’t think it will be harmful,
But we’ll see how things unfold.
Filed under Poems
The Stuff of Gods
Zeus likes keeping animals
Behind enclosure walls.
Ares is the God of war,
And busts a lot of balls.
Uranus is an deity
Who you can always say is yours,
And when the thunder God gets chicken pox
He becomes covered in Thors.
Muslims think that poultry
Is an animal about which to sing,
Because they worship Allah,
And with chicken Allah’s king.
Filed under Poems
The Steak Mistake
Under the light of the moon
In a restaurant in June
A brand new chef prepares a steak.
He brazes it well,
And basks in the smell.
He decides to take a break.
But that chef forgot
The burner was hot
And the meat burned like the sun
That chef’s mistakes,
They razed the steaks,
And I hope you enjoyed the pun.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 