Tag Archives: Cooking

Milk Was Just The Beginning (The Grilled Cheese Sandwich Saga)

People are always joking

About how it weirds them out

That someone grabbed a cow’s udder

And drank what came out.

But I’m wondering who

Ground some wheat with a stone

Mixed it with milk and bacteria

Then left it alone

Before heating it up

To 300 degrees

And then frying it up

With some butter and cheese…

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True Stories from a Man’s Kitchen

Today I made some cheesecake

That I got from a mix.

I mixed a lime and whipping cream

With several cream cheese sticks,

But when I picked the mixer

To taste the final yum

I realized I forgot to add the mix

And yes, I’m really that dumb!

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Why Honesty Is A Dying Virtue

People these days

Are way too PC.

Take my friend (who for privacy

And rhyming’s sake we’ll call “B”).

B got offended
When I said “poop and pee.”

Even so, it’s still what

Her dinner tasted like to me.

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Culinary Efficiency

I made a fancy dinner

Like they do in Paris, France.

Rose petals and caviar

To step up the romance,

A salad of arugula

(‘Cause kale’s so bourgeois)

And a soup of herbs and lamb compote

Which sounded good to moi,

An entree of duck sauvignon,

A glass of chardonnay

(Which may match well, I sure don’t know

But neither do my guests, so it’s okay),

And all topped off with creme brulee

And fried ice cream served hot.

My only regret for the evening

Was putting them all in a single pot.

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A Recipe For Disaster

A teaspoon of a crazy thought,

Two cups of your favorite beer,

A pinch of “well, it couldn’t hurt”

Absolutely zero fear.

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The Steak Mistake

Under the light of the moon

In a restaurant in June

A brand new chef prepares a steak.

He brazes it well,

And basks in the smell.

He decides to take a break.

 

But that chef forgot

The burner was hot

And the meat burned like the sun

That chef’s mistakes,

They razed the steaks,

And I hope you enjoyed the pun.

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