Today I made some cheesecake
That I got from a mix.
I mixed a lime and whipping cream
With several cream cheese sticks,
But when I picked the mixer
To taste the final yum
I realized I forgot to add the mix
And yes, I’m really that dumb!
Tag Archives: Cooking
Why Honesty Is A Dying Virtue
People these days
Are way too PC.
Take my friend (who for privacy
And rhyming’s sake we’ll call “B”).
B got offended
When I said “poop and pee.”
Even so, it’s still what
Her dinner tasted like to me.
Filed under Poems
Culinary Efficiency
I made a fancy dinner
Like they do in Paris, France.
Rose petals and caviar
To step up the romance,
A salad of arugula
(‘Cause kale’s so bourgeois)
And a soup of herbs and lamb compote
Which sounded good to moi,
An entree of duck sauvignon,
A glass of chardonnay
(Which may match well, I sure don’t know
But neither do my guests, so it’s okay),
And all topped off with creme brulee
And fried ice cream served hot.
My only regret for the evening
Was putting them all in a single pot.
Filed under Poems
A Recipe For Disaster
A teaspoon of a crazy thought,
Two cups of your favorite beer,
A pinch of “well, it couldn’t hurt”
Absolutely zero fear.
Filed under Poems
The Steak Mistake
Under the light of the moon
In a restaurant in June
A brand new chef prepares a steak.
He brazes it well,
And basks in the smell.
He decides to take a break.
But that chef forgot
The burner was hot
And the meat burned like the sun
That chef’s mistakes,
They razed the steaks,
And I hope you enjoyed the pun.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 