Tag Archives: Trees

On Trees That Fall Where No One Can Hear Them

If in the glade that no one hears

There falls a silent tree

One asks oneself: Would a hipster

Try to buy the tree’s CD?

Given the same scenario

Of the silent fallen tree

How long would they call it racist

On MSNBC?

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The Power Plant

They asked me “where’s the power plant?”

I pointed towards the woods

And they set out to find it

And claim its electric goods.

They asked me “where’s the power plant?”

And went off to the forest.

Now I picture them and laugh

‘Cause me they must abhorest.

They asked me “where’s the power plant?”

I pointed to the oaks,

The tow’ring cedar, stalwart maple,

Not intending it as a hoax.

They asked me “where’s the power plant?”

I pictured a mighty tree

Because a hundred feet of hardwood

Is a powerful plant to me.

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I Like Trees More Anyway

Today is the day

The trees come inside

And the children go out

In the ice and the snow.*

Why we bring in trees

Is a mystery to me

And why we take back the kids

I don’t rightfully know.

*If you looked at this asterisk

You may not be from Minnesota

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Childish Dreams

As a child I planted bacon

To grow a bacon tree.

The others said it wouldn’t work,

But I said “wait and see.”
Summers passed and kids gree up.

The soil, it stayed flat.

My friends got educations,

But I’d no time for that.
Some guys got jobs and girlfriends.

I stuck with my feat though,

‘Cause one of these days my dreams will come true

And I will see my meat grow.

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Driver’s Ed Dropouts

Saw down a tree.
Chop it down with an ax.
Burn it, chainsaw it,
Send it anthrax.

There are lots of good ways
To get rid of a tree,
But hitting it with your car
Doesn’t sound smart to me.

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The Money/Trees Quandary: A Contemporary discussion of the Fiscal and Sociological Impacts of Wild Currency

If money grew on trees
We’d see fewer thieves,
And we’d have a new perspective
On the growing of mint leaves.

If money grew on trees
The forests would be shining
And all the coins as foliage
Would cut back the need for mining.

If money grew on trees
Then natural selection
Would show us who new world leaders are
Before their big election.

If money grew on trees
Interest in forests would grow.
No one would buy stocks;
Their investments would really grow.

If money grew on trees
Fewer fires would start via smoker
And Casinos all would move outside
For better games of poker.

If money grew on trees
One question still remains
Which raises important fiscal concerns:
What happens when it rains?

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Overheard at Bring Your Dad to School Day

I’m not just a logger;
I’m a matchmaker for trees.
See, how life goes for them
Is one arbor sees

The love of their life
Just a few feet away,
And they spend their time loving
Each other all day.

After a while
What these trees want so much
Is to lean over a little
And let their bodies touch,

So I whop out my chainsaw
And bring that love to fruition.
It makes me feel good
And it pays her tuition.

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