Tag Archives: Redneck

Bertha Lent Him The Razor

There once was a redneck named Darryl

Whose back hair was fiery and feral.

But he shaved it one year

‘Cause it drank all his beers

But hey shucks! Hair will do what hair’ll!

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Taaaake… Me To The Ri. Vuh… (Drop me in the wa. Tuh…) But An Octave Lower

The guys who, in the ‘90s,

Made the singing Big Mouth Bass

Will be long renowned by history

For redefining “urban class.”

Alas, they could have changed music

Had they thought ahead so far

As to make an instrument

They called the “bass guitar.”

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Senior Year

The year I raised the 4H deer

Were the best days of my life.

Not only did I eat really well,

But I met my future wife.
She was a doe-eyed sophomore

Who smelled of smoke and beer.

She’s still my favorite cousin.

Good mem’ries, senior year.

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